This is intended as a repository for funny in-game quotes. Please edit your logs down to the relevant parts prior to posting.

Previous Funny Quotes threads:

2017: https://www.vendetta-online.com/x/msgboard/1/33341
2016: https://www.vendetta-online.com/x/msgboard/1/30977?page=3
2015: https://www.vendetta-online.com/x/msgboard/1/29618
2014: http://www.vendetta-online.com/x/msgboard/1/28370
2013: http://www.vendetta-online.com/x/msgboard/1/26952
2012: http://vendetta-online.com/x/msgboard/1/26049
2011: http://www.vendetta-online.com/x/msgboard/1/24526
2007-2011: http://www.vendetta-online.com/x/msgboard/1/16922

*[TGFT]Blaqk: Trident Type M - 88% health 3232m away :: I:Kill on Sight S:Admire U:Kill on Sight
[TGFT]Blaqk: Left the sector.
[TGFT]Blaqk: Out of range.
*[TGFT]Blaqk: Ragnarok MkIII - 100% health 3402m away :: I:Kill on Sight S:Admire U:Kill on Sight
Estrian Prosis destroyed Blaqk with LENB in Sedina B-8
[01/07/18 22:01:06] (guild) [Sedina B-8] Estrian Prosis destroyed Blaqk
[01/07/18 22:01:18] (guild) Kaizoku logged on.
*[Itan]Kaizoku: Valkyrie X-1 - 100% health 4586m away :: I:Admire S:Hate U:Neutral
[01/07/18 22:02:35] <Kaizoku> can you not
[01/07/18 22:03:13] <Kaizoku> ok ok ya got me
[01/07/18 22:03:46] <Kaizoku> EP stop >.>
[01/07/18 22:03:57] <Kaizoku> my nast anny in there
[01/07/18 22:04:00] <Kaizoku> ast*
[01/07/18 22:04:01] <Kaizoku> last*
Estrian Prosis destroyed * Swordfish II with Capital Swarm Turret in Sedina B-8
[01/07/18 22:04:17] <Kaizoku> rgr
[01/07/18 22:04:26] <Estrian Prosis> :P
[01/07/18 22:04:33] (guild) Kaizoku has left the guild.
[01/07/18 22:04:36] (guild) [Sedina B-8] <Estrian Prosis> TGFT Hated Itani dent down
[01/07/18 22:04:40] (guild) [Sedina B-8] <Estrian Prosis> LOL
[01/07/18 22:04:46] [100] <Estrian Prosis> hahahahahahah'
Kaizoku: Left the sector.
[01/07/18 22:05:27] [100] <Blaqk> Was gonna play nice but OK
[01/07/18 22:05:51] [100] <The Greasy Strangler> hey a ghost!
[01/07/18 22:05:54] [100] <Estrian Prosis> damn Blaqk why so butthurt
[01/07/18 22:06:06] [100] <Estrian Prosis> you could have just returned and drove it away
[01/07/18 22:06:14] [100] <Blaqk> I was homed VERY far away
[01/07/18 22:06:29] [100] <Estrian Prosis> well damn son, fix your Itani standing
[01/07/18 22:06:39] [100] <Estrian Prosis> then I might not be obliged to shoot ya
[01/07/18 22:06:41] [100] <Blaqk> Nah I let you walk away
[01/07/18 22:06:47] [100] <Blaqk> No more lol
[01/07/18 22:07:26] [100] <Blaqk> My last corvult anny was in there from when ray fucked up
[01/07/18 22:07:37] [100] <Estrian Prosis> ray fucked up?
[01/07/18 22:07:38] [100] <Blaqk> ya kept shootin regardless
[01/07/18 22:08:08] [100] <Estrian Prosis> well perhaps don't leave things you can lose in ya dent, lessons learned
[01/07/18 22:08:16] [100] <Blaqk> Nah, fuck off
[01/07/18 22:08:19] [100] <Estrian Prosis> rofl
[01/07/18 22:08:24] [100] <Blaqk> When you wanna walk away, I'm gonna keep shootin
[01/07/18 22:08:40] [100] <Estrian Prosis> you do that anyway
[01/07/18 22:08:43] [100] <Blaqk> nah
[01/07/18 22:09:01] [100] <Blaqk> I always keep it nice and friendly, killed barktooth when he ganked ya
[01/07/18 22:09:04] [100] <Blaqk> ya don't care
[01/07/18 22:09:16] [100] <The Greasy Strangler> you are dead, why should he care
[01/07/18 22:09:19] [100] <Estrian Prosis> barktooth shouldn't have interfered, not my loss
[01/07/18 22:09:26] [100] <Blaqk> gonna cost ya a few dents and deaths believe me
[01/07/18 22:09:31] [100] <Estrian Prosis> if you say so
[01/07/18 22:09:44] [100] <Blaqk> gonna be real cheap about it too
[01/07/18 22:10:24] [100] <Blaqk> even in ITAN ya killed me at random
[01/07/18 22:10:31] [100] <Estrian Prosis> lol what
[01/07/18 22:10:35] [100] <Estrian Prosis> when did that happen
[01/07/18 22:10:41] [100] <Blaqk> caprailed me on kai yesterday
[01/07/18 22:10:44] [100] <Blaqk> when I was 0m/s
[01/07/18 22:11:01] [100] <Estrian Prosis> lol
[01/07/18 22:11:04] [100] <Blaqk> yeah
[01/07/18 22:11:09] [100] <Estrian Prosis> you didn't die
[01/07/18 22:11:12] [100] <Blaqk> I did
[01/07/18 22:11:17] [100] <Blaqk> ya caprailed twice
[01/07/18 22:11:27] [100] <Estrian Prosis> you were in an X-1, one shot doesn't kill you
[01/07/18 22:11:28] [100] <Blaqk> once at 0m/s and once right before I docked
[01/07/18 22:11:46] [100] <Estrian Prosis> well it's too bad Kai isn't an Itan member
[01/07/18 22:11:50] [100] <Blaqk> Not anymore
[01/07/18 22:11:57] [100] <Blaqk> Gonna triflare yer ass every time I see ya
[01/07/18 22:12:04] [100] <Estrian Prosis> haha go for your life
[01/07/18 22:12:17] [100] <Blaqk> Hope ya enjoy the av's and TU's too
[01/07/18 22:12:20] [100] <Blaqk> asshole
[01/07/18 22:12:23] [100] <Estrian Prosis> lul
[01/07/18 22:12:28] [100] <Estrian Prosis> enjoy the bill for those lol
[01/07/18 22:12:38] [100] <Blaqk> I got broken credits just like you
*The Greasy Strangler: Corvus Marauder Mercenary - 100% health 4035m away :: I:Neutral S:Hate U:Neutral
[01/07/18 22:13:19] [100] <Blaqk> You clearly don't know me.
[01/07/18 22:13:32] [100] <Blaqk> Don't ever fuck me EP.
[01/07/18 22:13:32] [100] <Estrian Prosis> sure I do, all talk, no show
[01/07/18 22:13:37] [100] <Blaqk> We'll see.
[01/07/18 22:13:44] [100] <Estrian Prosis> have seen
Estrian Prosis destroyed The Greasy Strangler with LENB in Sedina B-8
[01/07/18 22:17:40] (guild) [Sedina B-8] Estrian Prosis destroyed The Greasy Strangler
Kaizoku: Out of range.
[01/07/18 22:17:42] [100] <The Greasy Strangler> gf
[01/07/18 22:17:43] [100] <Estrian Prosis> gf
*Kaizoku: Valkyrie X-1 - 85% health 4985m away :: I:Admire S:Hate U:Neutral
[01/07/18 22:18:32] [100] <Kaizoku> you wanted rabid, you got it

Easy to claim victory when you cheat, backstab, and worse.

[01/07/18 22:20:34] [100] <Kaizoku> Where are ya EP
[01/07/18 22:20:38] [100] <Kaizoku> I'm in B-8
[01/07/18 22:20:43] [100] <Kaizoku> Show me
[01/07/18 22:20:49] [100] <Estrian Prosis> busy submitting these logs to funny quotes
[01/07/18 22:20:59] [100] <Kaizoku> Yeah all ya an do is talk now
[01/07/18 22:21:16] [100] <Kaizoku> Id fuck you up x-1 v x-1
[01/07/18 22:21:30] [100] <Kaizoku> If I'm all talk, prove me wrong
[01/07/18 22:21:54] [100] <Kaizoku> Even worse, EP won't face my SCP in a X-1
[01/07/18 22:22:03] [100] <Kaizoku> and if he gets inna SCP, he's fucked too
[01/07/18 22:22:44] [100] <Kaizoku> Yeah, that's right. Go to yer little forums EP
[01/07/18 22:23:15] [100] <Kaizoku> next yull go play DOTA
[01/07/18 22:23:38] [100] <Kaizoku> cause got forbid I burn that KD of yours
[01/07/18 22:23:38] [1] <neko kirishima> so long time...ive been playing dota
[01/07/18 22:23:41] [100] <Kaizoku> god*
[01/07/18 22:23:50] [100] <Kaizoku> no wonder you don't wanna duel
[01/07/18 22:24:21] [100] <Kaizoku> Sedina B-8 empty
[01/07/18 22:25:29] [100] <Kaizoku> "Estrian Prosis" where are you, I'm all talk but you won't show up for a fight.
[01/07/18 22:25:53] [100] <Kaizoku> Busy swordfightin with JJ on the forums?
[01/07/18 22:26:26] [100] <Kaizoku> It's almost like he's scared to die.
[01/07/18 22:28:02] [100] <Kaizoku> How boring EP, I thought you wanted to fight
[01/07/18 22:28:26] [100] <Kaizoku> Guess yer just as worthless as the rest
[01/07/18 22:28:56] [100] <Kaizoku> Only able to kill me when I'm moving 0m/s, real skilled
[01/07/18 22:29:29] [1] <neko kirishima> wacth your mouth kaizoku..i only respect you as a seniour
[01/07/18 22:29:38] [1] <Kaizoku> KoS for life
[01/07/18 22:29:39] [1] <Kaizoku> you are
[01/07/18 22:29:47] [100] <Kaizoku> Just like EP
[01/07/18 22:30:00] [100] <Kaizoku> He's gonna learn today
[01/07/18 22:30:13] [100] <Estrian Prosis> damn do you ever shut up Blaqk
[01/07/18 22:30:24] [100] <Kaizoku> Scared bitch
[01/07/18 22:30:30] [100] <Kaizoku> Come get yer ass kicked Sedina B-8
[01/07/18 22:30:34] [100] <Kaizoku> X-1 v X-1
[01/07/18 22:30:41] [100] <Kaizoku> I'm all talk, but yer nowhere to be seen
[01/07/18 22:30:50] [100] <Kaizoku> I'll be recording as well
[01/07/18 22:31:38] [100] <Estrian Prosis> I was just thinking, you said you'd be real cheap about it, why should I honor someone who says they're gonna be cheap
[01/07/18 22:31:45] [100] <Kaizoku> yer the cheapest one here
[01/07/18 22:31:58] [100] <Kaizoku> So stop talkin and start warpin
[01/07/18 22:32:10] [100] <Kaizoku> You and I both know you're about to die
[01/07/18 22:32:11] You are entering Sedina B-8
Kaizoku: Out of range.
[01/07/18 22:32:14] [100] <Estrian Prosis> hahahaha
*Kaizoku: Valkyrie X-1 - 100% health 2097m away :: I:Admire S:Hate U:Neutral
[01/07/18 22:32:20] *Kaizoku* Ore wa Kaizoku-o ni naru otoko da!
[01/07/18 22:32:25] <Estrian Prosis> nice tag
[01/07/18 22:32:27] <Estrian Prosis> lul
screen dumped to dump0000.png.
[01/07/18 22:33:44] screen dumped to dump0000.png.
[01/07/18 22:33:47] [100] <Kaizoku> cheatin like all fuck
[01/07/18 22:33:53] [100] <Estrian Prosis> nice running
[01/07/18 22:33:54] [100] <Kaizoku> recording
[01/07/18 22:34:15] [100] <Kaizoku> yer lag switchin bastard eat shit
Kaizoku: Left radar range.
*Kaizoku: Entered radar range. Is at 16% health and is 436m away.
[01/07/18 22:34:24] [100] <Estrian Prosis> hahahahaha
[01/07/18 22:34:43] Kaizoku jumped to Sedina System, Sector L-2
[01/07/18 22:34:46] [100] <Estrian Prosis> nice fight
Kaizoku: Left the sector.
[01/07/18 22:34:48] [100] <Estrian Prosis> gf
[01/07/18 22:34:50] [100] <Estrian Prosis> LOL
[01/07/18 22:34:51] [100] <Kaizoku> nice lag abuse
[01/07/18 22:34:57] [100] <Shooter-0> Shit.
[01/07/18 22:35:00] [100] <Kaizoku> I recorded 100% of it
[01/07/18 22:35:04] [100] <Estrian Prosis> that was comical
[01/07/18 22:35:11] [100] <Kamikaze Miao> Kaizoku is the real Lagger ;)
[01/07/18 22:35:12] [100] <Kaizoku> I was hit like 7 times by invis shots and you zipping everytime I shot
[01/07/18 22:35:13] [100] <Estrian Prosis> you talk so much shit but cannot back it up
[01/07/18 22:35:38] [100] <Kaizoku> Must be sad to rely on lag

Yeah, I'm sure sunflares normally have 100m prox and do 100% damage. I was getting red screens before yer blasters made audio or were visible, pretty sad imho. Weird how when we were "friendly" your ships never performed that way, it's almost as if it was INTENTIONAL. I'm sure the forum brigade will be here shortly to back ya up though that's why you posted this thread.

Okay, kindly post your video to your YouTube. In the meantime, I'm not going to reply to you any more on the matter. Move on dude, you're being way too ego bruised about a funny quote.

Well this IS funny! Laggards lagging against each other and crying about it! Classic smurfs. Let me guess Blaqk triflared and emptied his tubes and ran. Estrian lagged on the back of his dingo tethered to 3G in the Australian outback! My sides!

What a great start to 2018...

[100] <Invader Alf> i never lagged on mine but then again i had 4g, a quad core processor and a 64gb sd card formatted as extra internal ram

That same guy /vote muted himself earlier.

Made me lol at least, heh

[01/25/18 10:57:57] [100] <The Greasy Strangler> so whats aqla?
[01/25/18 10:58:24] [100] <Slp006> the new greyspace aligned guild.
[01/25/18 10:58:48] [100] <Slp006> like PA, but newer.
[01/25/18 10:58:57] [100] <The Greasy Strangler> oh... sounds like a cocktail you would buy in a gay bar. just sayin lol
[01/25/18 10:59:49] [100] <The Greasy Strangler> "can i haz aqla pls, and dont forget the umberella!"

[100] <Lanigiro Elbbarcs> TPG is the only faction which is clever enough to produce wooden boxes

Lol

<RelaySpence>: [100] <Capt'N Blood> popcorn anyone?
<RelaySpence>: [100] <Corporal Punishment> with bleach and simple green
<RelaySpence>: [100] <O-SOZNANIE> OMNOMNOM
<RelaySpence>: [100] <FuddleDuck> no thx just ate a big *** bowl in b8
<RelaySpence>: [100] <Capt'N Blood> chubbycheek was too chubby to escape
<RelaySpence>: [100] <FuddleDuck> he can go on nature walks with the duck

Whoever this FuddleDuck dude is, I love him

<RelaySpence>: [100] <Triconick92> what do you use money for?
<Luxen_at_work>: !If you need to combine several commands, you should use /alias - it allows you to effectively rename or batch together various commands
<RelaySpence>: [100] <Capt.Elijah o'Lorkan> Buying ships, weapons, etc
<RelaySpence>: [100] <Capt'N Blood> we use money to pay yer mom
<Luxen_at_work>: !Triconick, for buying stuff? unless you mean the money-print toilet paper they have in the luxury sweets of Aroan Executive
<RelaySpence>: [100] <Capt'N Blood> and also when we're out of toilet paper
<Luxen_at_work>: !That's for wiping yourself with after a fierce battle, or after spending the night with a lover
<RelaySpence>: [100] <Capt'N Blood> well i have "Bank of England" tattoed on my butt from last nite orgy.
<RelaySpence>: [100] <FuddleDuck> nice
<RelaySpence>: [100] <Capt'N Blood> cant regognize the face of the Lady though
<RelaySpence>: [100] <FuddleDuck> does she have a beard
<RelaySpence>: [100] <Capt'N Blood> well i dont shave my butt

[03/06/18 21:34:27] [100] <Shugi Kroto> alright, VO, gotta go.... makin' chicken piccata
[03/06/18 21:35:12] [100] <Shugi Kroto> l8rz, t8rz
[03/06/18 21:35:25] [100] <Xymerian Monk> miss you already "Shugi Kroto"
[03/06/18 21:35:36] [100] <YT-1300> well that settles it. Sugar is not Fleet Consumer after all
[03/06/18 21:35:49] [100] <YT-1300> i dont' think Fleet could spell piccata
[03/06/18 21:35:57] [100] <Nith> haha
[03/06/18 21:35:59] [100] <Xymerian Monk> haha!
[03/06/18 21:36:01] [100] <YT-1300> much less know what it is or how to make it
[03/06/18 21:36:12] [100] <ARF_01> haha
[03/06/18 21:36:14] [100] <Nith> Fleet seemed more like a taco bell kinda guy
[03/06/18 21:36:20] [100] <YT-1300> lol

Is it so difficult to let someone post something upbeat, without dumping all over it?

-incarnate

Well really.... is it? Does every Forum post need to be seasoned with a heavy dose of salt?

"That's not a funny quote, Koba71."

-Greenwall

<Arlathis JoHaun> You keep flying backwards
<FuddleDuck> hey thats legal