Actually Lecter, I may be wrong but I think beer and music festivals are a big deal in Europe, too. I think Germany has something like that, and Italy has one where everyone throws tomatoes at each other.

You're not wrong. However, the tomato throwing one is, IIRC, in Spain. But I might be wrong about that.

Plus you might see 'ol Leebs making an ass of himself near one of the beer tents, probably the Sprecher one.
Does that qualify as a "cultural event"?

Only in America.

Fucktard. Your reading comprehension is even worse than opposing counsel's, and that is definitely saying something.

/me growls and grumbles his way back to writing this brief

Lecter I want to see you work a VO reference into one of your more public briefs one day. Just for shits and giggles.

I can probably do this with something we'll file in the SDNY in the coming months. I'll let you know when it gets posted to the court's docket.

Though I have this tickle in the back of my brain telling me I did something like this recently... I definitly used a sentence in something this past weekend (crash order to show cause why Plaintiff's Reply shouldn't be struck) that was a neat reference to something else. Not sure it was VO; I should go back and look.

JJPro, since you're going to be stuck out east, here's a picture I took a couple days ago where I'm doing research for my geology degree. I'm up in the Beaverhead Mountains of Southern Idaho, and in the distance is the Lemhi Mountain Range. Yes, it has been snowing up there, even in May. It's late for snow even this far north.

Purty. Looks like Utah. I guess Mormonism feels at home there.

Well, it was settled at the same time, by the same people. That's why it's called the Lemhi Range, Lemhi is a name from The Book of Mormon. I was just out there today working on my project, and it was very clear and sunny. I got some great pictures and a sunburn.

wow, westen mountains. hoooray. 14,000 feet of burnt rocks, pine trees, yuppies with birkenstocks, pine trees, organic pizza cafe with 8 dollar a slice tofu mushroom soy-cheese cardboard, pine trees, religious zealots with automatic weapons, and more pine trees. oh, wait, did i mention the pine trees? because thats the only kind of tree that grows there. oh yeah. and rocks.

dont forget to mention altitude sickness, weather that changes every 5 minutes, lightning, snow storms, avalanches, snow storms, rain that goes sideways, and more snow storms.

the rocky mountains, the tetons, and all the other western desertified hell holes of misery and despair, are where satan took a dump on the earth. the appalachians, on the other hand, are gently undulating paradises of beautiful, diverse forests full of animals, birds, and magical ponies.

i dont think there were any groups crossing the applachians that got stuck and decided to eat each other. for you europeans, google the 'donner party'. in fact, if you walk far enough back in the appalachians, bring an axe and a saw, seeds and a gun, you can whack yourself out a homestead and life off the land. try that in idaho - you will wind up like the unabomber, your brain boiled by the sun.

in the applachians, you can hike, bike, rent an atv (also called a 'four wheeler'), and enjoy the day. in the rockies, you can get your jeep stuck on a 60 degree grade, get two flat tires, and die of thirst as the sun withers your dried, rotting corpse, or what is left of it after the bears feast on your flesh. go rent 'into the wild', thats what happens in the rockies.

rockies, schmockies!

Um, interesting take on it. I know I'm feeding a troll by responding to this, but whatever.

The best trees here are the Aspen trees, which aren't pine. Way up in the mountains is where you're reduced to pine, which are very pretty trees. Also, I think it was Samuel Clemens who said of Missouri weather "if you don't like it, wait five minutes." There's amazing snow here in winter, but not in the midwest where I was stuck in the awful humidity for thirteen years. Lightning is awesome, but the storms are one thing I miss about Missouri.

Oh, yeah, I've done the Jeep thing, too. And the other day it was snowing hard and the sun was out at the same time. Some of what you say is true, but you put an evil spin on it. Also, our magical ponies could kick your magical Appalachian ponies' asses. With their magical machine guns.

Notice the not pine trees:

Ok, I am back. Thank you all for your advice. And so here comes a short description of what I ended up doing:

The first week was work in downtown (on the first day I called it "city center" and was not understood) Columbus, OH. Columbus turned out to be the sum of all my bad prejudices of the US coming true, times 100. The city made it immediately to the top of the list of the most boring places I have ever been (actually quite some). I am still wondering what the 1.7 mil people in the region do all day, despite going to church and to that fake mall called "town center" (sic!).

When work was done, I left Ohio ASAP. I decided for Michigan and it turned out to be a very good choice. While avoiding Detroit I went to Ann Arbour, Great Rapids, Traverse City and the coastline of Lake Michigan. It was nice to see people in the streets and the pubs compared to the deserted place downtown Columbus has been. I enjoyed nice weather at the lake too (I wouldn't want to go there in winter though). I continued for Lake Superior and the Pictured Rocks and I had some great time hiking there. On the way back to Columbus, I visited Chicago which is again a world on its own which I liked very much too.

So despite Columbus, I enjoyed my stay. Well, unfortunately except for...

Worst Food Ever!

That bad? No breakfast for champions?

FYI, the food was bad because you avoided anywhere in the South.

Also, the world-wide title of "Worst Food Ever!" is acually held by the "proper English breakfast," as served at any of the innumerable B&Bs dotting the countryside of Northern England/Lower Scotland. They even screw up bacon, for Gods' sakes.

You must have hit the wrong houses, Lecter, I had good food when I was in England. A pity, really.

JPro, yeah, America has it's nice spots. Too bad most are like Columbus :P

Actually the best breakfast I ever had was on Jersey Island, UK. They had homemade bread and even a whole menu to order from, including salmon.

The only time I had breakfast included in the US was at a quite expensive Holiday Inn and then they served this sweet bread and some stuff with lots of sugar and fat and more sugar on it, and some scrambled eggs and meatballs. Of course this fine hotel couldn't afford a dishwasher, so they had paper plates and plastic forks and spoons. Yay to the throwaway society.

I actually found some nice and good restaurants too, but only in bigger cities (excluding Columbus). Those were $20+ which is totally fine for me if the food is right. But at smaller towns and on the highways you are stuck with the usual franchises and the dreaded local pizza or burger place which seem to be even worse to me (at least those few I tried or had a look at).

However, I don't want to overrate this experience, maybe I was just unlucky.

Your next trip should be to the San Francisco Bay area. We know what a city center is, we're in the streets (because where would one park a car?), we have actual pubs, good food is easily found, and boredom is unlikely unless you stay in your room. Winter in San Francisco proper is nearly indistinguishable from Summer - foggy and cool.

Still, Pictured Rocks is hard to compete with.

Yeah! And you just missed SummerFest in Milwaukee! (I have not, alas, had a chance to make a complete ass of myself yet this year...)

I say I'd have to disagree about San Francisco. My week there was quite boring, citywise :|

San Francisco? Boring? With all the crazy hippie liberals? No way! I was there when I was 11 (14 years ago, yikes!), and it was.... interesting. Of course, so is Boulder, CO, where I was living at the time. I've heard it called the "San Francisco of the Rockies," and it's almost true.