I used to have a list of twenty-four of these jokes. But most were bad, except for this one:

1. In your tank, slowly rumble past a docked US Navy warship and blast "In the Navy" by the Village People

2. Wear it as a hat.

for "The many many comical things one could do if one procured a tank and a time machine..."

TANK RAMPAGE THROUGH TIME

4. "Assist" people who park poorly

5. Assist people who drive poorly.

That reminded me of this comic:

6. Try and drive it through a car wash

Good one Cunjo XD

7. Go through a McDonalds drive thru...

8. Try to go through a McDonalds drive-thru, but end up going OVER it... sweet, sweet poetic justice :D

9. Photograph yourself standing in front of your vehicle in Tiananmen Square and post the picture in your .cn blog

10. Put a "What would Jesus do?" bumper sticker on the front and use your tank to get to the office on time regardless of heavy city traffic (namely the 5 mph with brakelights to the horizon kind).

11. Park it unattended for the night in a French suburb.

12. Ensure your health and safety while driving around northern Taiwan (I swear, where else is it considered acceptable to make a left turn from the far right lane while running a red light?)

13. Park it in a space marked "Compact Car Only"...on top of the car that was already occupying the spot.

14. Realize you locked your keys inside AGAIN, and resolve to carry around a blowtorch for such occasions...

Actually, a friend of mine DID go with his unit to a McDonalds... they didn't use the drive-through, but parked all the tanks (5) on the lot. I'll get a pic for proof ASAP.

Edit: The tanks in question were M113s retrofitted for mortar usage, for those interested.

:o...

In Britain, it's actually legal to drive around a tank.

I saw a man on TV wich goes to work in his mustard-yellow tank. As long as the gun barrel is soldered shut, it's legal.

Poor pavement.

"10. Put a "What would Jesus do?" bumper sticker on the front and use your tank to get to the office on time regardless of heavy city traffic (namely the 5 mph with brakelights to the horizon kind)."

Jesus can drive on traffic.