Dear Concerned Reader,

Normally we would have included the information you requested in the story but as CRGs are regulated bionics... each one is accounted for and registered upon purchase. For the purposes of this recall, the distributer has worked with the manufacturer to get the relevant information to each consumer before mire tragic accidents occur.

Sincerely,
UAN

UIT ACTION NEWS UPDATE...
this issue...

Itani Colonists Destryed, Over 950000 Dead

http://uit-action-news.webs.com/itanicolonydestroyed.htm

Whoever wrote this new one is now awesome beyond belief.
:D

Indeed, Chaosis.

Sadly, I see someone already made Davros.

Dear UIT Action News Editors,

Thank you for your expanded information about the cybernetic replacement genitals. I'm sure your readers found it very enlightening. I would suggest a further story about how to make sure you only buy a registered CRG. For instance, you should only buy a CRG from a licensed medical facility, not from a beat-up behemoth that operates in a random section of gray space. It should be fitted and installed by a doctor, not handed to you by a friend of your cousin's who says, "This looks about right. Try it on." And registered CRGs have a coded chip that can link with any opto-reader to display manufacturing details -- not just an index card with a hand-written note that it was "Inspected by Joe." I hope these tips will prevent people from wasting credits on something that turns out to highly modified sonic screwdriver.

Sincerely,

Someone Totally Unrelated to That Other Reader

/me wonders if Supreme Dalek is still available....

EDIT: :D

/me wonders when the guild the Cult Of Skaro will appear.

http://uit-action-news.webs.com/akaneseslavetrade.htm

Actually Serco slaves make good household appliances.
You just need to drill a little hole in its frontal lobe leaving brain implants intact.
Then, you can command it with a regular remote control.
Akanese are even giving out a discount with preinstalled software and operation manual if you buy bulk.
UIT on the other hand, are lazy and fat, no skills, no remote control, so UIT slave sales plummeted quickly and now they are giving them away as a free gift with Serco slave purchases. Since they are mostly useless, most buyers opt for a box of Sedina chocolates as a replacement gift.

One brilliant idea to sell them back to their original UIT factions failed miserably because as it turned out, their factions wouldn't take them back even for free.
Akanese are currently searching for new markets to sell taken UITs.
Huge discounts available. Call now!

I have a longstanding practice of keeping Itani as slaves, and I have to say they're pretty fantastic. Small and unobtrusive, they're detail oriented and respond well to training -- and those that don't can be force-fed until their livers expand enough to make Itani foie gras.

Also, their hydes make great upholstery: witness my Itani-hyde chair and ottoman.

UIT ACTION NEWS UPDATE...
this issue...
GRN attacked by crazed english teacher

http://uit-action-news.webs.com/grnattacked.htm

UIT ACTION NEWS UPDATE...
this issue...

Itani military cleared of war crimes charges in deaths of over 17000 Serco civilians
BioCom exec assasinated
Azumi, Pirate queen missing... LeberMacs Spleen goes un-eaten.

http://uit-action-news.webs.com/uitfactionsguilty.htm

UIT ACTION NEWS UPDATE...

Ancient Earth craft found in deneb...
Serco convoy destroyed in Dau...

http://uit-action-news.webs.com/uitfactionsguilty.htm

Azumi appears to have wandered off to join [SKV]. Leber, good luck finding her there.

Good luck finding me anywhere these days. You don't find me, I find you. And then you pay or 'xplode

I do not eat spleens, I collect them. And if Lecter's is still up for buying, I'm still interested at I think 32 million was the last price?

I sold the spleen already to Keria for 32 million, more or less because I could never find ye, Azumi.

I used the money to build a giant convoy to escort my tequila to Pelatus, and, well, you know how THAT turned out...

No problem hun. I'll fight Keria for it:) More fun this way

You don't find me, I find you. And then you pay or 'xplode

Bring it, ye pink-haired smurf wench.

Patience dear Lecter, patience.

/me slices open Azumi's lower right side, hitches a rope to her liver, ties it to a pony and whips the pony

Wheeee!

UIT ACTION NEWS UPDATE...

http://uit-action-news.webs.com/uitfactionsguilty.htm

Order Of Akan Claims Clone
BioCom Executives Missing