Tonight in #vendetta I decided to write a story. Here it follows, with all comments by other people included. I promise, I didn't copy and paste it, I made the entire thing up on the go. Enjoy:

<red_cactus> so once there was this Arabian walnut tree named Herb.
<red_cactus> and Herb wakes up every morning at 8:00 am.
<red_cactus> then Herb goes to work at his 9 to 5 desk job working as an accountant
<red_cactus> Herb has a picture of his family on his desk
<red_cactus> Herb wears a black tie, white button up shirt, grey slacks, grey socks and black shoes
<Katarn> What color is Herb?
<red_cactus> Herb doesn't like to be classified as any particular color, so he goes by the term "walnut-colored"
<red_cactus> Today Herb woke up as usual, went to work as usual, and sat down at his desk as usual, saying hello to the secretary as he passed. All usual.
<red_cactus> BUT! One thing about today was not usual.
<Katarn> Did Herb know it was unusual?
<red_cactus> And that one thing was the fact that Herb's desk drawer was open and everything was jumbled up.
<Katarn> WHy did Herb jumble it up?
<red_cactus> Needless to say, Herb was distraught.
<red_cactus> Herb did not do this jumbling of the desk drawer, which is why he was distraught.
<red_cactus> On closer examination, Herb then noticed that his *favorite* pen of all pens was missing.
<red_cactus> Herb was not happy.
<Katarn> Yay!
<red_cactus> This had all started out as a usual day, but then this had to go and happen.
<red_cactus> Herb decided to investigate and see what he could find out.
<red_cactus> First Herb walked down the hall to his colleague Alfred's office.
<red_cactus> Herb knocked on the door, and entered to a "Come in." call
<red_cactus> Herb said: "Hey, Alfred, how's the wife?"
<red_cactus> Alfred: "She's good, she's good. What can I do for you?"
<red_cactus> Herb: "Well, you see, I'm in kind of a predicament."
<Katarn> I love you Alfred!
<red_cactus> Alfred: "Really. What kind?"
<red_cactus> Herb noticed that Alfred was fidgeting and looking rather uncomfortable at talking to Herb.
<red_cactus> Herb: "I came in this morning, everything was normal, but when I sit down at my desk, my desk drawer was open!"
<red_cactus> Alfred was getting noticably more uncomfortable as the conversation progressed.
<Lemming> what kind of name is herb?
<red_cactus> Herb: "So I looked closer, and you'll never guess what I found out!"
<red_cactus> Alfred: "Wh...what's that, Herb?"
<red_cactus> Herb: "My favorite pen is missing!"
<Katarn> Cool!
<red_cactus> Herb looked at Alfred, waiting for a reaction to this shocking news.
<Viriana> cactus is SO c&p'ing this
<red_cactus> Suddenly, without warning, Alfred jumps out of his chair and bolts toward the door, overturning his desk lamp in the process!
<Cam> was it an astronaut pen?
<Lemming> omg! catch him!
<Lemming> beat up that punk alfred!
<Katarn> Use your magic walnut powers of doom and such!
<red_cactus> But of course, Herb's a tree, and he was standing in the doorway, so Alfred ran into him. Herb found the pen in Alfred's pocket, and took it back.
<red_cactus> The end.
<Lemming> yays!
<Katarn> That is such a touching story
<Lemming> go herb!

I want the last 30 seconds of my life back.

Me too!!!

You know you both like it.

hm. at least there's little to no spelling errors...

Of course not. I pride myself on using proper grammar (most of the time) and correct spelling when talking online.

...punk.
:P

cactus: at least someone here thinks like me!

*sniff*
Such a moving, inspiring story. It just... just... Well, it just.
*sniff*