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This one's for Lecter
Some useful phrases to use as an Evil Overlord as given by Steve Meredith. These humorous cuts were originally listed as useful phrases to use around work but they probably only work well if you are a Evil Overlord(TM).
1. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
2. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
3. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
4. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
5. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care.
6. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
7. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
8. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
9. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
10. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
11. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
12. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
13. No, my powers can only be used for good.
14. How about never? Is never good for you?
15. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
16. You sound reasonable...Time to up my medication.
17. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
18. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
19. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
20. Who me? I just wander from room to room.
21. My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!
22. It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.
23. At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.
24. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
25. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
26. Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
1. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
2. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
3. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
4. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
5. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care.
6. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
7. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
8. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
9. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
10. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
11. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
12. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
13. No, my powers can only be used for good.
14. How about never? Is never good for you?
15. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
16. You sound reasonable...Time to up my medication.
17. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
18. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
19. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
20. Who me? I just wander from room to room.
21. My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!
22. It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.
23. At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.
24. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
25. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
26. Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.
Yarr, I can probably work at least the first one into a meeting with opposing counsel at some point... once I'm actually busy again :P Damn post Christmas slowdown in litig. And there's a plaintiff that the second one would fit really, really well...
Really, though, these all read like one-liners from House.
Really, though, these all read like one-liners from House.
Hmm, that might be interpreted as a good thing...
Actually, #2 would fit a not-so-insignificant percentage of the first world's population.
If I did it your way, that would leave nothing left for you to do, and I wouldn't want to put you in that position.
I hear that the road to success is paved with failure, and thus I feel compelled to ask you: Exactly how much success are you aiming for?
If you are correct, that would make every person to comment on the subject prior to you, a complete idiot.
I could be wrong, and you could be right, but what are the odds of both happening at once?
I am very impressed that you think you understand how to do my job, especially given that everyone that has ever done this job, gave up all pretense of having the vaguest notion of how to do it.
I would gladly trade you, your 8 years of higher education, your wife and kids and your house too, for one paying customer. Alas, I have no takers on that offer. Do you have a sister?
I hear that the road to success is paved with failure, and thus I feel compelled to ask you: Exactly how much success are you aiming for?
If you are correct, that would make every person to comment on the subject prior to you, a complete idiot.
I could be wrong, and you could be right, but what are the odds of both happening at once?
I am very impressed that you think you understand how to do my job, especially given that everyone that has ever done this job, gave up all pretense of having the vaguest notion of how to do it.
I would gladly trade you, your 8 years of higher education, your wife and kids and your house too, for one paying customer. Alas, I have no takers on that offer. Do you have a sister?