i have concocted a scheme to make us independent of 'foreign oil'. except of course for canadian oil, from those lucsious albertan shale sands. that is some good @#$ oil and we love our canadian brothers and sisters. even though they wont let us emigrate until we know french, have 2 phds, and own our own business.

and for you non-americans... im surprised you can manage to drag your fingers to a keyboard after a hard day of scrabbling for bugs to make your evening meal, and clubbing your 'enemy tribe' to death with a dull machete blade. how did you people ever manage to learn how to read, let alone get computers? at any rate, when we say 'foreign oil', we dont really care what you think of it. we are talking about oil from beyond our beautiful boundaries of our 50 states (and miscellaneous territories and protectorates, and foreign military bases, and so forth and so on). anyways do not concern yourself with the concerns of a real country, go back to trying to make fire out of rocks and sticks. good luck with that, as our finest men have been unable to do it on our national glaidatorial spectator sport, TV's 'CBS survivor'.

but for you americans, let me go on with the point.

i have discovered a way to generate free power, without dredging up sludge from the deep. the deep that hides gods black creation, left for us there by the hand of jesus, to empower our domination of the planet, that we might bring the love of christ to the godless heathen savages of denmark and south asia. also capitalism and the value of hard factory work.

what im saying is that, you can take video games, americas penultimate cultural creation, sort of like the italian master painters and sculptors had oil and marble, we have bits and pixels. and you can take these things and you can use them to generate power. how?

all video games simulate violence. what else would they simulate? love? thats not very fun. violence, though, is awesome. and it generates internal heat in the human body, as scientists at the national jesus center for video game studies for the crusade, has shown us. internal temperature goes up.

this excess heat must be expended in some fashion from the body. as it says in our science textbooks, genesis, and exodus, the first law of thermodynamics is that heat entering a body must be equal to heat exiting a body if it is to stay in a steady state, namely of 98.6 degrees farenheit. (again, you knuckle dragging slope brows might know this as 38 degrees celsius, but then again, you eat with your toes, so why bother wasting time educating you, youll only use it to kill each other and burn children at the stake in satanic pagan rituals)

the heat is thus, expressed in the video game player, of america, by generating 'whining'. This whining is distributed audibly, gutturally, flatulently, but most of all, through the internet. Furthermore, this whining, since coming from heat, can be converted back into heat.

Thus, from the simulated violence of videogames, comes heat, transferred to whining on the internet, dispersed through the internet, and the converted back into heat on the other end.

The only missing link between this apparatus and the automobile engine, is some sort of interstitial device that can bring about supplication of the games fury into the smooth movement of metal and steel. the smooth, ryhtmic, pumping of the pistons and cylinders, churning back and forth, back and forth, over and over, over and over. And over. And over. And over.

It gets me 'heated up' just thinking about it. About the.. uhm... potential. For you know. Free energy.

Thank you for reading this bold attempt to save our America. And for you foreigners (except canadians) reading this, please think about attending some America Reeducational Training, so that you can come to our country and achieve, at least, some part of your potential as a quasi-American turd farmer or shoedirt gatherer. At least then you won't starve and die from your own ignorance and backwards Christ-hating paganistic primitivism.

Thank you.

Stolen off of Scott Adams.

BOOOOOOO!!!

MAKE YOUR POSTS SHORTER SO I HAVE THE TIME TO READ THEM!!!

heeeee its maybe it don look like it buut canaduh has a highest litteracy rate than the united snakes of america

"no i did not do write porrly it was waylons fault"

i fear i might overload that whining engine if you put me in a valk against three skyproms with swrms flares and agt

"Stolen off of Scott Adams."

No shit? well then, I guess our resident troll has sunk to an all new low... he doesn't even have original trolling material anymore.

scott adams?

now look. i will admit that 2 or 3 weeks ago, i bought an old copy of 'casual day has gone too far' at a used book store, and i read it cover to cover in one sitting.

but i must protest, i dont remember anything about using videogames to generate power. not in that book. maybe he did in some other book though. and i have read that strip on and off over the years. (dilbert, for you uneducated folks)

now that i think about it, though, he probably did make some kind of similar joke, as it is rather obvious. then again, EVERY joke is obvious, its all in how you tell it.

and on the third hand, even berkeley breathed ripped off doonesbury, sometimes almost panel for panel.

sometimes plagiarism is on purpose, sometimes its an accident. i plead the mercy of the court, because this certainly was not any stephen ambrose , martin luther king kind of plagiarism.

In defense of ananzi (I fairly enjoy reading his posts), I believe that he is by far the troll contributing the most funny and witty provocations on this board.

Especially since they are not ad hominem, nor usually ad causam, but rather noncommittal and directed at the expanse of vast vacuum, only taken note of by those enjoying it or those taking exception to it.

There, enough holding of stirrups for one day.

thanks, i was getting depressed after the awful lack of response to the last couple.