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You know what to do. Now get those creative juices (and the gore) flowing.
Alas, I have nobody before me to kill... but since my VO thing has long been overly descriptive acts of violence, I'm sure I've already set a fine example.
Alas, I have nobody before me to kill... but since my VO thing has long been overly descriptive acts of violence, I'm sure I've already set a fine example.
LeberMac burst into Dr. Lecter's study and immediately hit Lecter with an immobilizing ray.
Confused and surprised, Lecter awkwardly dropped his Yquem and slumped to the ground, falling heavily out of his itani-hide chair. He mentally calculated the value of the spilled Yquem against the perceived value of LeberMac's life, and found LeberMac wanting. If he ever got out of this...
Humming happily, LeberMac wheeled in the medical hydraulic lift that he'd had ready for just such a situation, strapped Lecter in, and raised the heavy Serco off of the floor so that he hung horizontally face-down, suspended at about eye level. He disassembled the neural muscle assists and all mechanical sensory controls and threw the finely-crafted technology into the roaring fire which always seemed to be going in Lecter's fireplace.
Using a dirty scalpel, he neatly severed all of Lecter's arm and leg tendons at the ankle, knee, hip, shoulder, elbow, and wrist. He cauterized the wounds roughly with a portable welding torch, scarring Lecter badly.
He prepared a nanite-enhanced cyanitic biocide container, enough to kill a large sperm whale, and with a fleshy "thunk", he expertly punched the long IV needle through Lecter's back, directly into the Serco's aorta. Emergency Serco cardiac circuitry prevented the usual heart attack from such an action, and kept Lecter alive... for now.
Between the needle and the IV fluid container he rigged a single pushbutton, of an antique style that used to be used for Hospice patients on old Earth. Essentially, it was used to allow the patient to self-administer a dose of whatever pain medicine was in the IV line. Of course, this time the IV was filled with the deadly poison.
Then, LeberMac sat down in the chair (which, coincidentally, matched rather well with his complexion) and summoned a Miharu clone. He ordered a Chianti and the subservient clone retrieved it for him, with only a slight interest in its old Master suspended from a hydraulic lift. He waited. Slowly, the effects of the immobilizing ray wore off and Lecter was able to move again, somewhat.
"Ah! Doctor, good to see you're awake." LeberMac said, and rose to approach his victim.
"You realize, of course, that I'm going to flay you alive for this, Itani nugget... hey whats this?"
LeberMac had pressed the trigger button into Lecter's right hand.
"This, my erudite barrister, is your kill switch." LeberMac said witha smile to the suspended Lecter.
"What? WTF are you thinking? That I'll kill myself?" Lecter said, increduously.
"Oh no, think of the switch as my small gift to you." LeberMac said with an impish grin, "You never know if you might need it." He fished two large earplugs out of his pocket, displayed them to Lecter, and carefully put them into his own ears. LeberMac then produced an Ineubis Mark III noise-canceling headset, and carefully donned that as well.
Speaking too loudly, he said to Lecter, "I've arranged to have AJRimmer read poetry to you. I specifically asked for him to write original material from scratch, on the subject of ancient Assyrian history, in strict iambic pentameter."
Escorted by the Miharu clone, AJRimmer walked into the room with a stack of papers, which looked as if they had been hastily written in crayon. He fumbled for the microphone, and looked at LeberMac.
LeberMac had seated himself in the itani hide chair (which was, incidentally, quite comfortable) and picked up a copy of "War and Peace" off of the stack of books, which also included "Moby Dick" and "Battlefield Earth." He was prepared for a long stay. Seeing that AJRimmer was ready, he gave the signal to begin.
AJRimmer cleared his voice and made to begin...
Dr. Lecter gagged and hammered away at the kill switch, ending his own life before he could be forced to enjoy the stylistic musings, unfortunately.
/me bows.
Confused and surprised, Lecter awkwardly dropped his Yquem and slumped to the ground, falling heavily out of his itani-hide chair. He mentally calculated the value of the spilled Yquem against the perceived value of LeberMac's life, and found LeberMac wanting. If he ever got out of this...
Humming happily, LeberMac wheeled in the medical hydraulic lift that he'd had ready for just such a situation, strapped Lecter in, and raised the heavy Serco off of the floor so that he hung horizontally face-down, suspended at about eye level. He disassembled the neural muscle assists and all mechanical sensory controls and threw the finely-crafted technology into the roaring fire which always seemed to be going in Lecter's fireplace.
Using a dirty scalpel, he neatly severed all of Lecter's arm and leg tendons at the ankle, knee, hip, shoulder, elbow, and wrist. He cauterized the wounds roughly with a portable welding torch, scarring Lecter badly.
He prepared a nanite-enhanced cyanitic biocide container, enough to kill a large sperm whale, and with a fleshy "thunk", he expertly punched the long IV needle through Lecter's back, directly into the Serco's aorta. Emergency Serco cardiac circuitry prevented the usual heart attack from such an action, and kept Lecter alive... for now.
Between the needle and the IV fluid container he rigged a single pushbutton, of an antique style that used to be used for Hospice patients on old Earth. Essentially, it was used to allow the patient to self-administer a dose of whatever pain medicine was in the IV line. Of course, this time the IV was filled with the deadly poison.
Then, LeberMac sat down in the chair (which, coincidentally, matched rather well with his complexion) and summoned a Miharu clone. He ordered a Chianti and the subservient clone retrieved it for him, with only a slight interest in its old Master suspended from a hydraulic lift. He waited. Slowly, the effects of the immobilizing ray wore off and Lecter was able to move again, somewhat.
"Ah! Doctor, good to see you're awake." LeberMac said, and rose to approach his victim.
"You realize, of course, that I'm going to flay you alive for this, Itani nugget... hey whats this?"
LeberMac had pressed the trigger button into Lecter's right hand.
"This, my erudite barrister, is your kill switch." LeberMac said witha smile to the suspended Lecter.
"What? WTF are you thinking? That I'll kill myself?" Lecter said, increduously.
"Oh no, think of the switch as my small gift to you." LeberMac said with an impish grin, "You never know if you might need it." He fished two large earplugs out of his pocket, displayed them to Lecter, and carefully put them into his own ears. LeberMac then produced an Ineubis Mark III noise-canceling headset, and carefully donned that as well.
Speaking too loudly, he said to Lecter, "I've arranged to have AJRimmer read poetry to you. I specifically asked for him to write original material from scratch, on the subject of ancient Assyrian history, in strict iambic pentameter."
Escorted by the Miharu clone, AJRimmer walked into the room with a stack of papers, which looked as if they had been hastily written in crayon. He fumbled for the microphone, and looked at LeberMac.
LeberMac had seated himself in the itani hide chair (which was, incidentally, quite comfortable) and picked up a copy of "War and Peace" off of the stack of books, which also included "Moby Dick" and "Battlefield Earth." He was prepared for a long stay. Seeing that AJRimmer was ready, he gave the signal to begin.
AJRimmer cleared his voice and made to begin...
Dr. Lecter gagged and hammered away at the kill switch, ending his own life before he could be forced to enjoy the stylistic musings, unfortunately.
/me bows.
Tequila overdose... how tragic.
PS. We actually laced his sandwich with a substance that reacts violently with alcohol.
PS. We actually laced his sandwich with a substance that reacts violently with alcohol.
wow that was a good lectercide story.
i prefer numbered methods
1.attach lecter to wall with knives.
2. attach jumpstart cables to lecters genetalia.
3.shock genetalia
4.wait for lecter to scream for death
5. draw on lecter with knife(happy face)
6. turn lecter into some sort of remote control puppet and have him eat his own feet
7.tie lecter to chair
8. eat face
9. feed whatever is left to omega 0 as chili
10. rinse off hands and face (make sure there isnt any blood still there)
11. repeat as nessessary
i prefer numbered methods
1.attach lecter to wall with knives.
2. attach jumpstart cables to lecters genetalia.
3.shock genetalia
4.wait for lecter to scream for death
5. draw on lecter with knife(happy face)
6. turn lecter into some sort of remote control puppet and have him eat his own feet
7.tie lecter to chair
8. eat face
9. feed whatever is left to omega 0 as chili
10. rinse off hands and face (make sure there isnt any blood still there)
11. repeat as nessessary
Hmmm...
Well, Mr. Bean, I'm afraid that you are next. So while you are sleeping I slip into your quarters with an antique tranquilizer gun. Unfortunately, the darts poisons had lost there potency a long time ago. So i had improvised a new poison from Serco ale and blow fish (ironically that taste about the same).
Lucky for me you are still breathing after my improvised cocktail. Just in case, i slip half a bottle of Tylenol PM down your throat that I obtained from Corvus. I estimate that you have about half an hour to live. Just enough time to finish my plot. So i drag your limp but alive body down to the docking bay and strap you to the outside of your own ship with Duck tape (we all know that duck tape will still be around).
After checking your pulse one last time I revive you with some cheap Nanite technology originally designed to help ingest Serco ale. The Nanites do the trick and wake you while slowing the effects of the onslaught of toxins in your blood stream. I smile politely as you attempt to speak. Even if you had the motor skills to do so I have gaged you with one of Lebers socks and duck tape. I must give you credit for still being alive with the stench of Lebers feet emanating from inside your head. Even so, I take your keys and launch with you strapped to the end of your own ship.
At first the engines catch your feet on fire. "oops, I must have put him a little to far back." I mumble to my self, "no matter, the flames will be out soon enough." Thus i proceed to launch out into the void of space where you suffer from spontaneous decompression and explode in a mess of blood all over the ship.
The good news? This whole endeavors cost was covered by the profits from selling all your stuff.
Well, Mr. Bean, I'm afraid that you are next. So while you are sleeping I slip into your quarters with an antique tranquilizer gun. Unfortunately, the darts poisons had lost there potency a long time ago. So i had improvised a new poison from Serco ale and blow fish (ironically that taste about the same).
Lucky for me you are still breathing after my improvised cocktail. Just in case, i slip half a bottle of Tylenol PM down your throat that I obtained from Corvus. I estimate that you have about half an hour to live. Just enough time to finish my plot. So i drag your limp but alive body down to the docking bay and strap you to the outside of your own ship with Duck tape (we all know that duck tape will still be around).
After checking your pulse one last time I revive you with some cheap Nanite technology originally designed to help ingest Serco ale. The Nanites do the trick and wake you while slowing the effects of the onslaught of toxins in your blood stream. I smile politely as you attempt to speak. Even if you had the motor skills to do so I have gaged you with one of Lebers socks and duck tape. I must give you credit for still being alive with the stench of Lebers feet emanating from inside your head. Even so, I take your keys and launch with you strapped to the end of your own ship.
At first the engines catch your feet on fire. "oops, I must have put him a little to far back." I mumble to my self, "no matter, the flames will be out soon enough." Thus i proceed to launch out into the void of space where you suffer from spontaneous decompression and explode in a mess of blood all over the ship.
The good news? This whole endeavors cost was covered by the profits from selling all your stuff.
Holder, Lord of the Place.
you cant catch me! i dont sleep!
mwahahahahahaha!
mwahahahahahaha!
ok saints shadow is up next.
Ill feed his left arm to a pack of termites while I surgically debone the rest of him and watch him twitch under electric shock administered to his eyes. Then Ill go ahead and use his lack of bones to force feed him his own intesestines creating a nice loop and handle to carry him by. rather than using the newly created handle ill drag him by his kidneys to the docking bay where he will be loaded into a ship's cargo hold. Once i reach the hold ill drill a small hole in the hull to the outside, presently the docking bay. Then I will weld some wire mesh to the wall and using hot cooking oil melt the outer flesh on his back so when i slam him against the wall his flesh will mould around it fusing him to the wall and the hole. Once i launch the air pressure inside the hold will cause him to be slowly sucked out the 1/2 inch hole into space.
sounds like a painful way to die, cant wait to see what somebody does to me.
Ill feed his left arm to a pack of termites while I surgically debone the rest of him and watch him twitch under electric shock administered to his eyes. Then Ill go ahead and use his lack of bones to force feed him his own intesestines creating a nice loop and handle to carry him by. rather than using the newly created handle ill drag him by his kidneys to the docking bay where he will be loaded into a ship's cargo hold. Once i reach the hold ill drill a small hole in the hull to the outside, presently the docking bay. Then I will weld some wire mesh to the wall and using hot cooking oil melt the outer flesh on his back so when i slam him against the wall his flesh will mould around it fusing him to the wall and the hole. Once i launch the air pressure inside the hold will cause him to be slowly sucked out the 1/2 inch hole into space.
sounds like a painful way to die, cant wait to see what somebody does to me.
((Decides to bend the rules for the sake of comedy))
Seeking to dispose of a certain combat pilot with the moniker of "look...no hands", Union Peace Keeping Captain Nicolai 'Nice' Hardrive decides to take matters into his own hands. As a gesture of supposed 'goodwill' CNH sends LNH a pair of prosthetic hands, which are secretly programed to choke LNH to death once activated. Unfortunately, the programmers confused LNH with CNH and the hands compelled LNH to travel half-way across known space to choke the good captain to death.
The aftermath of the whole affair leaves the captain without a trachea and LNH with a shiny new pair of robotic hands.
Seeking to dispose of a certain combat pilot with the moniker of "look...no hands", Union Peace Keeping Captain Nicolai 'Nice' Hardrive decides to take matters into his own hands. As a gesture of supposed 'goodwill' CNH sends LNH a pair of prosthetic hands, which are secretly programed to choke LNH to death once activated. Unfortunately, the programmers confused LNH with CNH and the hands compelled LNH to travel half-way across known space to choke the good captain to death.
The aftermath of the whole affair leaves the captain without a trachea and LNH with a shiny new pair of robotic hands.
I think you're ALL missing the point of this thread.
Lecter posted first. LeberMac posted next and kills Lecter.
Vigilante Samurai posted next and kills LeberMac (I guess, weak-ass story.)
Mr. Bean should be writing a story about how he killed Vigilante Samurai.
Saints Shadow correctly got the thread on track by killing Mr. Bean.
Dr. Lecter posted next, and will undoubtedly post an excellent story on how he kills Saints Shadow. (Once he comes back to this thread)
Mr. Bean, as the next poster, will post a thread on how he kills Dr. Lecter. (Or maybe he can just copy and paste his first one here, and think up a story for Vigilante Samurai on his first post.)
look... no hands should be talking about he killed Mr. Bean, Not Saints Shadow.
vIsitor gets us back on track again with his rendition of how he attempts to slay but fails his target... "look... no hands."
Since there are no rules about respawning, apparently, I'll post again. So now I'll clean this up...
**********
LeberMac respawned and wiped the foul taste out of his mouth, the sandwich had been delicious; however, something in it had reacted with his metabolism and he'd stopped breathing, which had really sucked.
Thirsting for vengeance, or at the very least to release his frustrations, he embarked on an epic quest to kill the previous poster. Unfortunately for him, the previous poster was too "Nice" and had amazingly failed to kill his target.
Undaunted, Lebermac took it upon himself to tidy up this abhorrent situation. He contacted the programmers of the robotic hands, and had them upload a special program, one that would lend itself exactly to the spectacular demise that he had in mind.
"Tell me," he said to the programmers, "Can I upload any compulsion into these robotic hands? You all were able to upload the 'Strangle CNH' algorithm, I would like to upload a slightly more complex one, credits are no object."
The programmers huddled up, made some vague discussion noises, and broke their huddle, smiling.
"Why, yessir, we can do almost anything." Their leader said.
"Good." Lebermac smirked. "Alright, I'd like you to implant the irresistable urge to perform oral surgery on this alien." He showed them the picture:
"Cripes!" The lead programmer said, jumping back a couple feet.
LeberMac said, "Just give this location to the gloves as well... He'll make his way here." as he handed the coordinates of a bunker in Pelatus to the programmers.
The programmers began their work, and LeberMac made for Pelatus to prepare for this death.
Stopping by LB426, he set down and retrieved one of the alien eggs from the long-abandoned starship. Careful not to let it open quite yet, he hustled back onto his ship and boosted back towards Dr. Lecter's house to pick up his unwilling participant.
He landed, and after dustoff he saw AJRimmer there, apparently still waiting for him to return after the Death of Lecter put the kibosh on his poetry reading session.
"I thot u wuz gonna leavez me here!" Rimmer said awkwardly.
"Nonsense!" LeberMac chortled, "I need you for the next phase of my project! It's very important, quick, come with me!"
AJ Rimmer ran towards the airlock of LeberMac's ship, and checked into the passenger quarters of the Centaur, where LeberMac had hidden the alien egg. Exhausted, Rimmer dropped onto the bed fast asleep, just glad to have an "important" role in the next phase of LeberMac's plan.
The alien hatched, implanted the larva in AJ Rimmer's throat, and fell off before morning.
AJ Rimmer awoke, and LeberMac knew he had little time as he landed in the Pelatus bunker and hastily prepared his deathtrap.
"Alright, AJ, this way, I need you to be HERE, in this room." LeberMac opened a door into a sterile, white room, with a wicked-looking dentist's chair in it, along with some remotely-controlled, military-grade heavy cybernetic grapple restraints. The entire room gleamed from the acid-resistant coatings.
"What do I do now?" AJ Rimmer said.
LeberMac closed the door behind him, leaving Rimmer alone in the room, and locked the industrial-quality mechanism. "Well, now, I'm sorry AJ, but you must die, since you were mentioned in the thread before yet lived."
"What?" AJ Rimmer screamed in protest, "That's NOT in the thread rules!"
LeberMac shrugged. "Ah well, No one ELSE is playing by the rules so why should I?"
"I don't feel so good..." AJ Rimmer said, and the alien burst forth from his chest, killing him in a spurt of gore.
"Awwww, he's cute..." LeberMac said as the infant alien scooted around the room, leaving a trail of blood. LeberMac sat down to wait for the maturation process, which should take a few days.
In the meantime, LNH was under the control of his robotic hands, on a quest to arrive in the Pelatus bunker to perform oral surgery on the alien. The programmers had done their job expertly. He was completely under the control of the hands, and slowly, subliminally, they guided him towards his fate over the course of the next day.
24 Hours later...
LeberMac had had enough waiting, and walked over to the waldo gloves which controlled the cybernetic grappling restraints. With a deft touch, he scooped up the rapidly-maturing alien and strapped it into the chair securely. Almost fully grown now, it hissed and spat at its gleaming white prison walls. Its tail thrashed against the chair and the restraints, until it was held down by a third automated restraint.
The abomination restrained, LeberMac then wheeled in the dental surgery unit, and clipped a blue dental bib onto the alien. Then he posted signs in the docking bay, clearly designating the path to take to the alien surgery lab. Just in time, too, because LNH pulled in as the last sign was posted. LeberMac hid.
LNH, controlled by the irrational impulse to perform dental surgery on an alien, rushed down the halls, following the signs, and came upon the dental lab. He entered cautiously, and his heart leaped with joy as he saw his obsession was about to be fulfilled.
LNH donned the dental surgical mask, scrubbed up, grabbed a dental probe and mirror, and sat down next to the alien.
"Now, I'll need you to open up." LNH said.
The alien hissed at him.
"Wider." LNH said, assertively.
The alien's outer jaws unfolded, acidic saliva dripped from the mouth, and the hiss turned to a low growl.
"Wiiiiider..." LNH said, and began to lean slightly over the alien's mouth.
The alien strained against the chair's restraints, its tail writhed in anticipation, and yellow-green acid frothed from the gaping maw.
"Goood!" LNH said, in satisfaction. "Now, let's have a look here..." He fully leaned over the alien's mouth to get a good look inside, and was about to insert the surgical tools, when...
POW!
The inner set of bony jaws shot out of the alien's mouth and directly through LNH's skull, exploding out the back of his head. "Look... No Hands" went into convulsive spasms, jerking roughly and making the gaping hole in his head larger through his involuntary seizures. Gobbets of brain matter and gore spilled out of the wound, landing with wet red splashes on the gleaming white floor.
Observing from the viewscreen, LeberMac released the restraints and the alien leaped from the chair, tearing the dead corpse of LNH off of its mouthpiece. In a rage, it smashed the bloodied body into a pulp with rage-filled blows from its tail, legs and hands. Leaking acid dissolved most of the body, including the robotic hands.
Satisfied that he'd done his duty to the thread, LeberMac jettisoned the entire room into space, set the self-destruct, and watched as the thermonuclear explosion created a temporary small sun in the black sky of Pelatus.
Then he sat back, grabbed a tequila bottle, and waited for the next post, which will be from Dr. Lecter.
If he ever gets off his fat ass and writes it. >:)
Lecter posted first. LeberMac posted next and kills Lecter.
Vigilante Samurai posted next and kills LeberMac (I guess, weak-ass story.)
Mr. Bean should be writing a story about how he killed Vigilante Samurai.
Saints Shadow correctly got the thread on track by killing Mr. Bean.
Dr. Lecter posted next, and will undoubtedly post an excellent story on how he kills Saints Shadow. (Once he comes back to this thread)
Mr. Bean, as the next poster, will post a thread on how he kills Dr. Lecter. (Or maybe he can just copy and paste his first one here, and think up a story for Vigilante Samurai on his first post.)
look... no hands should be talking about he killed Mr. Bean, Not Saints Shadow.
vIsitor gets us back on track again with his rendition of how he attempts to slay but fails his target... "look... no hands."
Since there are no rules about respawning, apparently, I'll post again. So now I'll clean this up...
**********
LeberMac respawned and wiped the foul taste out of his mouth, the sandwich had been delicious; however, something in it had reacted with his metabolism and he'd stopped breathing, which had really sucked.
Thirsting for vengeance, or at the very least to release his frustrations, he embarked on an epic quest to kill the previous poster. Unfortunately for him, the previous poster was too "Nice" and had amazingly failed to kill his target.
Undaunted, Lebermac took it upon himself to tidy up this abhorrent situation. He contacted the programmers of the robotic hands, and had them upload a special program, one that would lend itself exactly to the spectacular demise that he had in mind.
"Tell me," he said to the programmers, "Can I upload any compulsion into these robotic hands? You all were able to upload the 'Strangle CNH' algorithm, I would like to upload a slightly more complex one, credits are no object."
The programmers huddled up, made some vague discussion noises, and broke their huddle, smiling.
"Why, yessir, we can do almost anything." Their leader said.
"Good." Lebermac smirked. "Alright, I'd like you to implant the irresistable urge to perform oral surgery on this alien." He showed them the picture:
"Cripes!" The lead programmer said, jumping back a couple feet.
LeberMac said, "Just give this location to the gloves as well... He'll make his way here." as he handed the coordinates of a bunker in Pelatus to the programmers.
The programmers began their work, and LeberMac made for Pelatus to prepare for this death.
Stopping by LB426, he set down and retrieved one of the alien eggs from the long-abandoned starship. Careful not to let it open quite yet, he hustled back onto his ship and boosted back towards Dr. Lecter's house to pick up his unwilling participant.
He landed, and after dustoff he saw AJRimmer there, apparently still waiting for him to return after the Death of Lecter put the kibosh on his poetry reading session.
"I thot u wuz gonna leavez me here!" Rimmer said awkwardly.
"Nonsense!" LeberMac chortled, "I need you for the next phase of my project! It's very important, quick, come with me!"
AJ Rimmer ran towards the airlock of LeberMac's ship, and checked into the passenger quarters of the Centaur, where LeberMac had hidden the alien egg. Exhausted, Rimmer dropped onto the bed fast asleep, just glad to have an "important" role in the next phase of LeberMac's plan.
The alien hatched, implanted the larva in AJ Rimmer's throat, and fell off before morning.
AJ Rimmer awoke, and LeberMac knew he had little time as he landed in the Pelatus bunker and hastily prepared his deathtrap.
"Alright, AJ, this way, I need you to be HERE, in this room." LeberMac opened a door into a sterile, white room, with a wicked-looking dentist's chair in it, along with some remotely-controlled, military-grade heavy cybernetic grapple restraints. The entire room gleamed from the acid-resistant coatings.
"What do I do now?" AJ Rimmer said.
LeberMac closed the door behind him, leaving Rimmer alone in the room, and locked the industrial-quality mechanism. "Well, now, I'm sorry AJ, but you must die, since you were mentioned in the thread before yet lived."
"What?" AJ Rimmer screamed in protest, "That's NOT in the thread rules!"
LeberMac shrugged. "Ah well, No one ELSE is playing by the rules so why should I?"
"I don't feel so good..." AJ Rimmer said, and the alien burst forth from his chest, killing him in a spurt of gore.
"Awwww, he's cute..." LeberMac said as the infant alien scooted around the room, leaving a trail of blood. LeberMac sat down to wait for the maturation process, which should take a few days.
In the meantime, LNH was under the control of his robotic hands, on a quest to arrive in the Pelatus bunker to perform oral surgery on the alien. The programmers had done their job expertly. He was completely under the control of the hands, and slowly, subliminally, they guided him towards his fate over the course of the next day.
24 Hours later...
LeberMac had had enough waiting, and walked over to the waldo gloves which controlled the cybernetic grappling restraints. With a deft touch, he scooped up the rapidly-maturing alien and strapped it into the chair securely. Almost fully grown now, it hissed and spat at its gleaming white prison walls. Its tail thrashed against the chair and the restraints, until it was held down by a third automated restraint.
The abomination restrained, LeberMac then wheeled in the dental surgery unit, and clipped a blue dental bib onto the alien. Then he posted signs in the docking bay, clearly designating the path to take to the alien surgery lab. Just in time, too, because LNH pulled in as the last sign was posted. LeberMac hid.
LNH, controlled by the irrational impulse to perform dental surgery on an alien, rushed down the halls, following the signs, and came upon the dental lab. He entered cautiously, and his heart leaped with joy as he saw his obsession was about to be fulfilled.
LNH donned the dental surgical mask, scrubbed up, grabbed a dental probe and mirror, and sat down next to the alien.
"Now, I'll need you to open up." LNH said.
The alien hissed at him.
"Wider." LNH said, assertively.
The alien's outer jaws unfolded, acidic saliva dripped from the mouth, and the hiss turned to a low growl.
"Wiiiiider..." LNH said, and began to lean slightly over the alien's mouth.
The alien strained against the chair's restraints, its tail writhed in anticipation, and yellow-green acid frothed from the gaping maw.
"Goood!" LNH said, in satisfaction. "Now, let's have a look here..." He fully leaned over the alien's mouth to get a good look inside, and was about to insert the surgical tools, when...
POW!
The inner set of bony jaws shot out of the alien's mouth and directly through LNH's skull, exploding out the back of his head. "Look... No Hands" went into convulsive spasms, jerking roughly and making the gaping hole in his head larger through his involuntary seizures. Gobbets of brain matter and gore spilled out of the wound, landing with wet red splashes on the gleaming white floor.
Observing from the viewscreen, LeberMac released the restraints and the alien leaped from the chair, tearing the dead corpse of LNH off of its mouthpiece. In a rage, it smashed the bloodied body into a pulp with rage-filled blows from its tail, legs and hands. Leaking acid dissolved most of the body, including the robotic hands.
Satisfied that he'd done his duty to the thread, LeberMac jettisoned the entire room into space, set the self-destruct, and watched as the thermonuclear explosion created a temporary small sun in the black sky of Pelatus.
Then he sat back, grabbed a tequila bottle, and waited for the next post, which will be from Dr. Lecter.
If he ever gets off his fat ass and writes it. >:)
(1) Leber Gets It.
(2) Leber Is Dead Fucking Meat.
(2) Leber Is Dead Fucking Meat.
/Mogul Velaio ignores the doc to death
As Velaio sits in his favorite "Chair-to-Ignore-the-Doctor-In", he fails to notice the stratigically placed whoopie-cushion filled with highly unstable Xith compounds, and vanishes in a rather astonished looking ball of fire.
While the Shedu is giggling at the demise velaio Saint sights him in with his latest toy. (isn't re spawning fantastic!?) A bio gun that fires flesh eating parasites in to the body. these parasites start at the base of the cerebral cortex and shot down all motor communication of the brain. Upon reaching Shedu, saint realizes the extreme quickness of these parasites. so as to keep his pray alive a little longer, Saint injects Shedu with an agent to neutralize the parasites. The damage is already done, Shedu will never be able to move without serious surgery.
"hmmm... What have we here?" Saint mocks. "I know just what to do with you." So Saint Drags the body in to his work shop. There in the back of the room is a dusty box. Shedu attempts to look with curiosity, rage, and a hint of apprehension. Saint smiles as he opens the dusty box. Inside there are lots of colored tubes. Saint opens them and squeezes some of each on to a board.
An hour later he is done. Pulling Shedu up to a mirror to see him self, saint smiles at his handy work. A tear falls down Shedus eye as he sees what has happened to him. He looks like a multi color clown! "oh, but we aren't done yet. Rimmers birthday is today... and your not going to be the clown..." Saint informs his victim.
After dropping of his hand crafted pinata to AJ and receiving his payment, Saint sets up to watch the show. "There's nothing better than watching an invalid get beaten to death... but just in case thighs kids aren't brutal enough..." saint looks at the remote in his hand, "I've got this" The remote is actually connected to a steal box containing a small nuclear device.
In the end, Saint never had to use the button. AJ got so Pissed off when no candy was coming out that he went into a rage and hit Shedu so hard that the device was activated from within his bowls and leveled the entire party... and then some. :-)
(sorry for grammar mistakes... i don't have time to revise... I will do so later. ok?)
"hmmm... What have we here?" Saint mocks. "I know just what to do with you." So Saint Drags the body in to his work shop. There in the back of the room is a dusty box. Shedu attempts to look with curiosity, rage, and a hint of apprehension. Saint smiles as he opens the dusty box. Inside there are lots of colored tubes. Saint opens them and squeezes some of each on to a board.
An hour later he is done. Pulling Shedu up to a mirror to see him self, saint smiles at his handy work. A tear falls down Shedus eye as he sees what has happened to him. He looks like a multi color clown! "oh, but we aren't done yet. Rimmers birthday is today... and your not going to be the clown..." Saint informs his victim.
After dropping of his hand crafted pinata to AJ and receiving his payment, Saint sets up to watch the show. "There's nothing better than watching an invalid get beaten to death... but just in case thighs kids aren't brutal enough..." saint looks at the remote in his hand, "I've got this" The remote is actually connected to a steal box containing a small nuclear device.
In the end, Saint never had to use the button. AJ got so Pissed off when no candy was coming out that he went into a rage and hit Shedu so hard that the device was activated from within his bowls and leveled the entire party... and then some. :-)
(sorry for grammar mistakes... i don't have time to revise... I will do so later. ok?)
there sure is a LOT of double postings in this thread for dead people.
While drdoak is contemplating the respawn idea behind this thread, I realize that he hasn't even tried to kill me. Thus I am forced to slit his throat with a spoon. As he bleeds his last on to the floor I feel the need to kick him... Twice. Just in case.
LeberMac, arising from whatever foul fate Doctor Lecter had devised for him, opens the door to the room, drops an industrial-strength lightning mine inside with saints shadow, and quickly closes the door after activating it.
Hovering in the middle of the room, the lightning mine bursts forth with blue fingers of plasma- swirling, churning, and eventually latching onto saints shadow. The superheated charges arc through saint's body, charring it horribly in several places. Screaming in agony, saints shadow desperately dives for the door, but the motion only serves to concentrate the mine's effects on one moving target; all of the blue streams converge on saints' cranium, which explodes in a puff of red mist.
The headless body falls to the floor, its muscles twitching involuntarily as the body writhes in a pool of blood. The continuing motion draws the weapon's lightning back to the body again and again, eventually cooking it to a well-charred black pile of soot.
The lightning mine runs out of juice and falls to the floor, inert; however, it lands on the motionless body of Dr. Doak and crushes Doak's skull with its weight.
LeberMac laughs heartily and then stops, suddenly paranoid.
Hovering in the middle of the room, the lightning mine bursts forth with blue fingers of plasma- swirling, churning, and eventually latching onto saints shadow. The superheated charges arc through saint's body, charring it horribly in several places. Screaming in agony, saints shadow desperately dives for the door, but the motion only serves to concentrate the mine's effects on one moving target; all of the blue streams converge on saints' cranium, which explodes in a puff of red mist.
The headless body falls to the floor, its muscles twitching involuntarily as the body writhes in a pool of blood. The continuing motion draws the weapon's lightning back to the body again and again, eventually cooking it to a well-charred black pile of soot.
The lightning mine runs out of juice and falls to the floor, inert; however, it lands on the motionless body of Dr. Doak and crushes Doak's skull with its weight.
LeberMac laughs heartily and then stops, suddenly paranoid.
Will Scarlet silently curses the creaky floors as hears Lebermac suddenly stop chuckling. Carefully daring to peek from behind the drapes across the room, he breathes a quiet sigh of relief seeing Lebermac staring at the note Will had so recently taped to a large wooden cabinet.
"Most definitely NO Tequila in this cabinet", it stated.
Lebermac's expression slowly changed from consternation to amusement. "Tricky", he said out loud, "but you'll have to get up pretty darn early in the morning to use reverse p-sychiatry on ol' Lebermac. Yessir, pretty darn early."
Will watched as Lebermac confidently opened the cabinet door, which released the latch holding back a extremely large spring fitted with a boxing glove.
The force of the blow sends him flying through the door into the next room to join the pile of ashes, spent l-mine and Dr. Doak.
"Most definitely NO Tequila in this cabinet", it stated.
Lebermac's expression slowly changed from consternation to amusement. "Tricky", he said out loud, "but you'll have to get up pretty darn early in the morning to use reverse p-sychiatry on ol' Lebermac. Yessir, pretty darn early."
Will watched as Lebermac confidently opened the cabinet door, which released the latch holding back a extremely large spring fitted with a boxing glove.
The force of the blow sends him flying through the door into the next room to join the pile of ashes, spent l-mine and Dr. Doak.
Surbius walks up Will in a casual manner.
Surbius: "Top of the morning to ya Will."
Will: "Errr, ya, same to you kid."
Surbius extends his hand out to Will for a handshake. Will pauses with doubt of Surbius' intentions but he realizes Surbius isn't a threat and reaches out to shake the waiting hand. No sooner did his hand make contact with Surbius' hand it fades away like a hologram and Will is holding onto the lower jaw of a hydraulic clamp and it slams shut crushing Will's hand and making it near impossible for him to get free. The clamp seeming to float in mid air is not but it is attached to a xith-cable which is attached to a Valkyrie Vigilant that had been fitted with a Behemoth Heavy engine. Surbius sits at the controls of the ship watching through a camera mounted on the clamp's upper jaw.
Surbius: "Top of the morning to ya Will."
Surbius jams the accelerator and turbos out to the nearest star. The clamp being much more sophisticated that your average clamp comes with some extra "holding" features and several dart like anchor bolts shoot out and pierce Will in both shoulders, knees, and gut. The bolts end spring forward with jagged rods which make it look like a grappling hook and then slam backward into Will's body securing themselves in his flesh. As the xith-cable becomes tight it pulls Will up were the cable the is coming through the vismetal view port no wider than 1 foot by 1 foot.
Will is crushed upon the view port and suddenly Surbius lets off the accelerator and turbo and slows down to 1m/s, he slowly pulls the clamp and Will through the view port. Before Will is dead or unconscious from the pain, a Rent-A-Nurse bot comes by and injects Will with some nanites to keep him up through the whole ordeal. When the bot is done, Surbius flies off ripping Will through the station view port and slings him toward the sun. Will is radiated and burned all at once becoming a bubbling blob of goop that evaporates with out much of a mess... expect for what is left in the station and the bits that came out during his flight to the sun.
Surbius waits for his untimely end.
Surbius: "Top of the morning to ya Will."
Will: "Errr, ya, same to you kid."
Surbius extends his hand out to Will for a handshake. Will pauses with doubt of Surbius' intentions but he realizes Surbius isn't a threat and reaches out to shake the waiting hand. No sooner did his hand make contact with Surbius' hand it fades away like a hologram and Will is holding onto the lower jaw of a hydraulic clamp and it slams shut crushing Will's hand and making it near impossible for him to get free. The clamp seeming to float in mid air is not but it is attached to a xith-cable which is attached to a Valkyrie Vigilant that had been fitted with a Behemoth Heavy engine. Surbius sits at the controls of the ship watching through a camera mounted on the clamp's upper jaw.
Surbius: "Top of the morning to ya Will."
Surbius jams the accelerator and turbos out to the nearest star. The clamp being much more sophisticated that your average clamp comes with some extra "holding" features and several dart like anchor bolts shoot out and pierce Will in both shoulders, knees, and gut. The bolts end spring forward with jagged rods which make it look like a grappling hook and then slam backward into Will's body securing themselves in his flesh. As the xith-cable becomes tight it pulls Will up were the cable the is coming through the vismetal view port no wider than 1 foot by 1 foot.
Will is crushed upon the view port and suddenly Surbius lets off the accelerator and turbo and slows down to 1m/s, he slowly pulls the clamp and Will through the view port. Before Will is dead or unconscious from the pain, a Rent-A-Nurse bot comes by and injects Will with some nanites to keep him up through the whole ordeal. When the bot is done, Surbius flies off ripping Will through the station view port and slings him toward the sun. Will is radiated and burned all at once becoming a bubbling blob of goop that evaporates with out much of a mess... expect for what is left in the station and the bits that came out during his flight to the sun.
Surbius waits for his untimely end.
He doesn't wait long.
Surbius squints as the cockpit of his Valkyrie Vigilant is bathed in a brilliant orange glow. Whistler's Prometheus zips silently by, scant feet away. Surbius has but a moment to smirk and activate his comm in order to make a snide remark about "prom jocks". He is interrupted by powerful jolt accompanied by a sound akin to a Hawaiian slide guitar being run up several octaves. The Valkyrie's hull thrums with a strange vibration. As he regains his composure, he identifies the source of the disturbance: He is being towed, via his own xith-cable, behind Whistler's Prometheus. Pulling up the display from his clamp-cam, he observes that his clamp is being held by a still-larger clamp affixed to Whistler's ship, just beneath a heavily-modified Behemoth Heavy engine retrofit.
Surbius hails Whistler: "Er...could we talk about this?"
...no response
Surbius decides to try to break free, and a rousing game of "crack-the whip" ensues, but Whistler's forward momentum carries them close enough to the station to attract an escort of Strike Force guards. Surbius meekly submits to the automated docking procedures, tired but relieved that Whistler would be unable to kill him under the watchful eye of station security. As he exits his ship, he is unsurprised by the armed guards, or even the sharp report and sting of the stunner. The hangar floor is pleasantly cool on his cheek.
He comes to in a small puddle of his own drool. The cell is dimly lit with a bluish light that washes the walls from within. The room is empty, sterile, save for a plastic cafeteria tray near the wall. He realizes he is famished. A small packet is visible upon it. Crawling over, he sees that the packet is a clear rectangular packet of the sort that normally encloses a paper napkin, plastic spork, and a plastic knife. This one has been open and contains only the knife. Fuming, he locates a large, slightly recessed panel in the far wall. He bangs on it with the tray.
"WHAT" (bang) "EXACTLY" (bang) "AM I" (bang) "TO DO" (bang) "WITH A" (bang) "GODDAMN" (bang) "PLASTIC" (bang) "KNIFE?!?" (bang)
The panel slides aside, disappearing irretrievably into the wall and revealing a thick barrier of a hard, clear material which is perforated with tiny holes so as to allow the passage of air and sound - but nothing else.
"Aaaah! Company! I've been so lonely, cooped up in here all by myself!" Says an oddly familiar voice. A figure in the cell on the other side of the barrier moves forward to face him. Surbius doesn't recognize him, but he doesn't like the grin the man is wearing - not at all.
"Do I know you?" says Surbius "Am I supposed to know who you are?"
The man grins. "Welll..." he snickers "I do have LOT of identities, and we'll have plenty of time for me to list and describe them all to you, but the guards just call me [SYN]noob!"
It occurs to Surbius, after several hours, just what exactly he is to do with the plastic knife. He is grateful.
Surbius squints as the cockpit of his Valkyrie Vigilant is bathed in a brilliant orange glow. Whistler's Prometheus zips silently by, scant feet away. Surbius has but a moment to smirk and activate his comm in order to make a snide remark about "prom jocks". He is interrupted by powerful jolt accompanied by a sound akin to a Hawaiian slide guitar being run up several octaves. The Valkyrie's hull thrums with a strange vibration. As he regains his composure, he identifies the source of the disturbance: He is being towed, via his own xith-cable, behind Whistler's Prometheus. Pulling up the display from his clamp-cam, he observes that his clamp is being held by a still-larger clamp affixed to Whistler's ship, just beneath a heavily-modified Behemoth Heavy engine retrofit.
Surbius hails Whistler: "Er...could we talk about this?"
...no response
Surbius decides to try to break free, and a rousing game of "crack-the whip" ensues, but Whistler's forward momentum carries them close enough to the station to attract an escort of Strike Force guards. Surbius meekly submits to the automated docking procedures, tired but relieved that Whistler would be unable to kill him under the watchful eye of station security. As he exits his ship, he is unsurprised by the armed guards, or even the sharp report and sting of the stunner. The hangar floor is pleasantly cool on his cheek.
He comes to in a small puddle of his own drool. The cell is dimly lit with a bluish light that washes the walls from within. The room is empty, sterile, save for a plastic cafeteria tray near the wall. He realizes he is famished. A small packet is visible upon it. Crawling over, he sees that the packet is a clear rectangular packet of the sort that normally encloses a paper napkin, plastic spork, and a plastic knife. This one has been open and contains only the knife. Fuming, he locates a large, slightly recessed panel in the far wall. He bangs on it with the tray.
"WHAT" (bang) "EXACTLY" (bang) "AM I" (bang) "TO DO" (bang) "WITH A" (bang) "GODDAMN" (bang) "PLASTIC" (bang) "KNIFE?!?" (bang)
The panel slides aside, disappearing irretrievably into the wall and revealing a thick barrier of a hard, clear material which is perforated with tiny holes so as to allow the passage of air and sound - but nothing else.
"Aaaah! Company! I've been so lonely, cooped up in here all by myself!" Says an oddly familiar voice. A figure in the cell on the other side of the barrier moves forward to face him. Surbius doesn't recognize him, but he doesn't like the grin the man is wearing - not at all.
"Do I know you?" says Surbius "Am I supposed to know who you are?"
The man grins. "Welll..." he snickers "I do have LOT of identities, and we'll have plenty of time for me to list and describe them all to you, but the guards just call me [SYN]noob!"
It occurs to Surbius, after several hours, just what exactly he is to do with the plastic knife. He is grateful.