"So I was in the back yard, and I saw this massive turd on the lawn. This was M-A-S-S-I-V-E, even for Sluggo. I started to stare at this turd and I notice that there is some writing on it...

So I had to run inside to get my glasses; cause I cant read shit without'em."

- Ron White

"Ya, MY mom hit me once. ONCE!!!"

-Andrew Clay (I think)