I have been hard at work on a new batch of trolls. I have just been swamped at work, what with the new move and all, the upcoming academy awards, and the roundup and culling of the herd. (Do you ever wonder why they call it culling? Why not just call it slaughter?)

Anyways, what can I say. This whole trolling thing was pretty ambitious, especially for only three people (me, a research assistant, and a desk clerk to man the phone lines). Things just don't always work out like you plan them too. Punchlines go out of date, hot topics become cold topics before you can finish a pseudo satire, and research on audience taste can become befouled by a new film such as Harry Potter.

I want to assure you in the troll community that these are only temporary setbacks. The troll train will right itself and choo choo onwards in a steam of burning skullduggery, upwards ever towards scaling the mountain of the best trollishness we are capable of making.

Thank you all for your patience in these lag times between troll releases. I think you will be pleasantly surprised when the new trolls come out; it shouldn't be more than a month.

Yours Trolly,
Ananzi

LMAO Ananzi!

It's called culling because it is done with a special purpose in mind (to separate the weak strains from the strong ones), whereas slaughter aims towards providing food.

Strictly speaking Toshiro, "slaughter" means the random killing of large numbers
of people or animals. Yes, killing animals for food qualifies, but does not tell the
whole story...

Ananzi: I'm REALLY looking forward to that new batch of trolls!!!!

Me too. Ananzi and who? me? are too inconsiderate and leave the forums for weeks at a time without due notice, and then I have to scramble to try to cover for them. I am le tired...

RattMann:

I am inclined to disagree with part of what you said. I would say that the negative connotation you mentioned was derived from the characteristica of the activity 'slaughter', not the other way round. Otherwise, 'everyday' usage as seen in the composite 'slaughterhouse' would be illogical.

I like to split hares.

i never leave for weeks at a time. and i am not inconsiderate.

so stfu!

You can't spell "slaughter" without "laughter"!

/me can

"slahtr?

Well, it's been nearly a week and no sign of this supposedly new & improved trolling, so it's safe to say that, unlike Guild Software, ananzi doesn't deliver on his promises. What a maroon...

aye its up tp me tp make sure that all pf the trplling gets dpne. i dpn't think i can dp it!

shut up! itll be out soon! do you have any idea what a genius i am? how long it takes 1 single solitary individual, even with a brain the size of mine, and my vast experience, to conjure a troll from nothingness?

the page is blank before i write, before i type, and set my fingers to the plastic, made in china, before this, there is nothing.

the workers of china and thailand and mexico create and toil and slave over hot injection molding machines day in and day out for low wages and shit conditions, and do you know why?

ill tell you why. its because they believe something great can come out of a keyboard. that man is not a mortal lump of clay and beeswax; there is something greater in each of us.

it is displayed through the artistic creations of the special few; the geniuses; the brilliant angels of human progress and civilization.

society depends upon the likes of me to type, to create, from blankness, chaos, then from chaos, order, then from order, harmony, then from harmony, meaning.

so settle down back to your milk and cookies, childish churl, regurgitate your impatience back up onto your silly little shoes, and wipe it all up with simple green and water.

i am not ready yet.

i am just not ready.

I'm beginning to think that Ananzi is actually Wile E. Coyote.
Or perhaps he is possesed by Chuck Jones. Or maybe he is
channeling Wile E. Coyote. (Or is channeling and being possesed
the same thing?) At any rate: Beep Beep !!!

Actually, Wile E. Coyote has a higher success rate than ananzi here...

Quite right. BEEP BEEP!

Could explain why the troller's guild folded so quickly

we were hood winked, sucker punched, side shanked, slandered, laundered, libelled, cow belled, bled, over fed, and left for dead! traitors staked us in the desert and pissed on our dustry graves.

that and i actually have work to do and everyone else is too lazy to start the guild

and maybe i shouldnt have killed people after they refused to join

and also bribery is not the best way to get people to found your guild

also i didnt really understand the lieutenant/minimum-number-of-people thing, and , well, how could i, documentation on this is like reading shit on a toilet bowl .