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New Element Discovered
A major research institution has announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet know to science - "governmentium." It has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons and 111 assistant deputy neutrons for an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons that are further surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like sub particles called peons.
Governmentium has no electrons and is therefore inert. It can be detected however since it impedes every reaction it comes into contact with. A tiny amount of governmentium can take a reaction that normally occurs in seconds and slow it to the point where it take days or weeks.
Governmentium has a normal half life of two years. It doesn't decay but "re-organizes", a process where assistant deputy neutrons and deputy neutrons change places. This process actually causes it to grow as in the confusion some morons become neutrons, thereby forming isodopes.
This phenomenon of "moron promotion" has led to some speculation that governmentium forms whenever sufficient morons meet in concentration forming critical morass. Researches believe that in Governmentium, the more you re- organize, the morass you cover.
Governmentium has no electrons and is therefore inert. It can be detected however since it impedes every reaction it comes into contact with. A tiny amount of governmentium can take a reaction that normally occurs in seconds and slow it to the point where it take days or weeks.
Governmentium has a normal half life of two years. It doesn't decay but "re-organizes", a process where assistant deputy neutrons and deputy neutrons change places. This process actually causes it to grow as in the confusion some morons become neutrons, thereby forming isodopes.
This phenomenon of "moron promotion" has led to some speculation that governmentium forms whenever sufficient morons meet in concentration forming critical morass. Researches believe that in Governmentium, the more you re- organize, the morass you cover.
now, if only we could find a use for it...
Sounds like samoflange. Has lots of morons, no wonder Smittens is so attracted to it.
sweet!
/me goes to steal all the governmentium from the school science lab. BWhahaha!
/me goes to steal all the governmentium from the school science lab. BWhahaha!
Governmentium has also been discovered to be the third most common element in the universe, behind hydrogen and stupidity.
Some say that stupidity eventually turns over time, in large quantities, into govermentium, but it's just a theory.
you sure stupidity qualifies as an element and not a pathogenic organism?
I always thought it was considered the most widespread international pandemic ever to afflict host organisms... mostly human in casualties.
I always thought it was considered the most widespread international pandemic ever to afflict host organisms... mostly human in casualties.
Actually, I believe stupidity is one of the five physical forces in the universe. Most Superunified Theories require it [edit] to bind the other four into a stable model.
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe."
Albert Einstein
Albert Einstein
Hmm, this would have interesting Brehmstrahlung... if you could get it moving...
/me goes to work in his local government's office for required communtity service hours.
I will settle the mystery of "Governmentium" once and for all!
/me grabs a map, a guide and a flashlight for those dark wells where paperwork ends up.
I will settle the mystery of "Governmentium" once and for all!
/me grabs a map, a guide and a flashlight for those dark wells where paperwork ends up.
A flashlight? Bah. Take a torch so you can actually make those papers serve their rightful purpose!
:P
:P
Position: On a waiting line to cut through some red tape and create more
I am stuck in a paradoxal loop. I have been sent from non-descript office to non-descript office. I have even been relocated to another facility that deals with "guilt or innocence". I may be here.....for a while....
Entering the facility known as "Queens County Hall" was an easy enough task. After cursory (and quite dissappointing) security inspections, I was shown to the level below. There the game of ping-pong, where i was the ball, began. Bouncing from one room to a guard to another guard to another room to......
In all the confusion, I was somehow transported to the facility known as "Queens Supreme Court". I had been sent here after being scoffed at by an advisor ("Community Service? Like Restitution?" "No, like Volunteer work" "Volunteer.....? *stares at me blankly*" ) They believed I was some juvenille delinquent, and thus sent me to the judging officials. There, after more red tape and incesant ping-pong bouncing, I ended up on the other end of the building.
Where ONCE MORE!, I was to wait.......and wait........and wait....... AT LAST! I had come to my endpoint! It was my turn to speak. I repeated my request, as I had in the other building. And, sadly, the same quizzical stare welcomed me.......one I now dub "The Bearucratic Stare of Inertia". Pulling away from the speaking hole, he reported to his colleagues with the same expression on his face. Again, the same questions of me (as if they didn't hear even though they were not five feet away). After finally explained (beating my point into their skulls, rather), they finally had a look of understanding.
YES! THEY UNDERSTAND MY LANGUAGE, EVEN THOUGH I DO NOT SPEAK POLITICS AND DIPLOMACY! My eyes alight, I smiled and waited for the advisor to point me the way so that I may begin my work at once.....
But alas, I was right all along. The Bearucratic Stare of Inertia spackled his face once again and he uttered the words "Red Cross" and "Salvation Army".
And thus, I was spun out of the facility by the same wheels that had slowly grinded me along within it. I saw a landmark, got my bearings and began my voyage home. Only one thought permeated my mind: How does our government function? Clearly it does. I even saw one or two heads bustling about in the sea of non-understanding. They must be fluent in the language of idiots and appreciate the art of paperwork and red tape! But how for us mere mortals to communicate with them? How....
I shall attempt this dangerous trek once more and return wih an answer....
I am stuck in a paradoxal loop. I have been sent from non-descript office to non-descript office. I have even been relocated to another facility that deals with "guilt or innocence". I may be here.....for a while....
Entering the facility known as "Queens County Hall" was an easy enough task. After cursory (and quite dissappointing) security inspections, I was shown to the level below. There the game of ping-pong, where i was the ball, began. Bouncing from one room to a guard to another guard to another room to......
In all the confusion, I was somehow transported to the facility known as "Queens Supreme Court". I had been sent here after being scoffed at by an advisor ("Community Service? Like Restitution?" "No, like Volunteer work" "Volunteer.....? *stares at me blankly*" ) They believed I was some juvenille delinquent, and thus sent me to the judging officials. There, after more red tape and incesant ping-pong bouncing, I ended up on the other end of the building.
Where ONCE MORE!, I was to wait.......and wait........and wait....... AT LAST! I had come to my endpoint! It was my turn to speak. I repeated my request, as I had in the other building. And, sadly, the same quizzical stare welcomed me.......one I now dub "The Bearucratic Stare of Inertia". Pulling away from the speaking hole, he reported to his colleagues with the same expression on his face. Again, the same questions of me (as if they didn't hear even though they were not five feet away). After finally explained (beating my point into their skulls, rather), they finally had a look of understanding.
YES! THEY UNDERSTAND MY LANGUAGE, EVEN THOUGH I DO NOT SPEAK POLITICS AND DIPLOMACY! My eyes alight, I smiled and waited for the advisor to point me the way so that I may begin my work at once.....
But alas, I was right all along. The Bearucratic Stare of Inertia spackled his face once again and he uttered the words "Red Cross" and "Salvation Army".
And thus, I was spun out of the facility by the same wheels that had slowly grinded me along within it. I saw a landmark, got my bearings and began my voyage home. Only one thought permeated my mind: How does our government function? Clearly it does. I even saw one or two heads bustling about in the sea of non-understanding. They must be fluent in the language of idiots and appreciate the art of paperwork and red tape! But how for us mere mortals to communicate with them? How....
I shall attempt this dangerous trek once more and return wih an answer....
Lol i dont have a good feeling about chemicals with the prefix "Goverment" It is a conspiracy! :D