I have it on good faith from a player of olde that back in the beginning days of Vendetta one of the most practiced forms of amusing oneself was the act of sticking one's tongue in a fan. Unfortunatley, in todays' forward-thinking world of mining beams and border patrol missions such entartainment gems as sticking your tongue in fans (SYTIF for short) are often overlooked. Personaly, I am apalled to see such apathy from the community on the subject of SYTIF and will do everything in my powers to aid in the return of this fun activity.

To start, I'd like to brainstorm the possible reasons for the dicline in poplarity SYTIF has experianced over the last few years. Several theories regarding this have been introduced by better people than me, in better posts than this, so I will only go over those theories, without spending time and effort of discussing each of thems in detail. After all, this is a suggestion thread, not a argue-why-people-refuse-to-accept-sticking-your-tongue-in-fans-as-a-fun-activity thread. So, with only one further ado, here are the theories, listed in no apperant order:
Ado.

First off is the theory I personaly find to be the most laughable of the them all, but it has quite a following in the community, so I really should list it. On the other hand, I really shouldn't.

Second in our already long list comes the theory commonly known as "the fecal matter incident theory." As the name suggests, this theory supposes that a possible reason why more people aren't drawn to the SYTIF is the fecal matter incident of last feburary. For the newer members, this well-known affair involved several monkeys (who were since banned for their part in this occurrence) doing what it is that they normally do, namely, throwing poop. A certain malicious player (who wasn't banned, because really, he didn't do anything, now did he?) suggested to the lesser primates that their activity might be enchanced in its fun rating if they were to aim not at the passerby people in hats but rather the fan. Unfortunatley there were several affectionados of SYTIF enjoying this favorite pastime and basking in the cool breeze when the fecal matter collided with the fan. The breeze suddenly turned rather moist and chunky. This incident could have easily been blown over with no ramificatons on the popularity of SYTIF, but unfortunatly several players decided it better to raise a stink over the whole fiasco than to let it flush itself into obscurity. As a result of long and complicated arguments no-one really read, all of the then-current fans of SYTIF were turned off from the activity never to return. The fact that the fan was never washed served to make sure that no new SYTIFers ever appeared.

Third is the theory I personally consider to be the most likely of the three. The theory of fanboism. As the more informed of us know, a "fanboi" is a fanatical follower of a player whose qualities can often be summaried as "arrogance." Prime examples of such fanboi-ed players are people much like Form* and Mittens* (both believed to be alts of the monkies involved in the fecal matter incident.) Of course, no-one likes fanbois, because really, how can you like people whose whole life revolves around worshipping some of the people that are least-worshibble ever? Unfortunatley, some of the newer peoples fail to realise that these unsavory chracters are called fanbois because of their fanatical tendancies and asume that the name comes from the old tradition of SYTIF. This of course puts them off even more than the unwashed fan, and so, very few newbs come to appreciate the joy that is sticking your tongue in fans.

* Names changed to protect the innocent

Whatever the cause, interest in SYTIF is at an all-time low and is still dropping. Clearly, something must be done! Here are my ideas on how to remedy the situation:

Wash the fan. Regardless of weather or not the brown crust is the main reason people don't stick their tongues into the fan anymore, I'm sure the idea of sticking your tongue in the fan would be much more appealing if it wasn't covered in rather smelly dried brown stuff.

Make it easier. The main challenge of sticking your tongue into a fan lies in getting the mass of meat and nerves that is your tongue through the thin slots in the saftey grate. Removing this hidious grate will surely make the whole prosess much easier and more appealing to newbies who are often put off b the difficulties of forcing your tongue through the bars.

Add some inscentives. To a newcomer, there is nothing that sets SYTIF apart from all the other activities of vendetta. Obviously, they will learn the pure pleasure of SYTIF with time, but some may leave well before they discover this genius activity. I would start off by coating the blades with honey and maybe carry on with gummy bears and sprinkles. As an added bonus, this option means you don't have to wash off the coat of poop from the fan, since it will be invisible under the sugary goodness!

Make it more exciting. As it stands, there is no other activity as unique and as fun as SYTIF in the game of vendetta, however, there is always room for improvement. Why not add a bit of exciting danger to the already fun SYTIF? Start by hopping the rotor's rpms to 1200, or even as much as 3000! Bareing the current-carrying wires can only improve the excitement, as the chance of deadl shock is something i know we can all enjoy!

And finally, use your mind-altering ray guns to make everyone enjoy SYTIF. Do it already! There is no downside!

In conclusion I'd like to say that I personaly love SYTIF and will always be for various improvements in it, and that I hope the devs take this information to mind the next time they decide to update.

Although I doubt any of you have anything to add, if you feel that you do, feel free, since I'm all for freedom of speech I agree with.

but wouldnt that hurt?

i mean the fan might just lop off the whole thing, and you couldnt taste the sweet honey, or sugary bears any more.

who? me?,

but on the plus side you wouldn't tast the monkey poop either

Bwaahahahahaahahahahahaha. Form and Mittens. Priceless n00b, priceless.

*tics off a box on his form*
[moved to Off-Topic]

ahh i remember the good ol days of SYTIF, the main thing you have to watch is getting your tongue in just right.

1) start with the tip of your tongue in the widest point.
2)wiggle your tongue backwards and forwards intil it pokes though the metal just a cm or to from the fan its self.
3)thust the tongue as far into the fan as quickly as you can(i once saw a guy get all the way though and start out of the other side of the fan before the blade hit.
4)scream in agony and run round screaming and i quote "oh my god i cut of my tongue"

I expect the hardest step is #4, or at least making that yell intelligible.

I think it would sound something like:

"Oh my ah I uh off my un"

And then we could all stand around and say "What? Your thumb? No your thumbs are fine, silly. Your one? One what? I know you ARE one, but....".

I think one must also make the decision as to whether to stand in front of or behind the fan.

Standing behind the fan will ensure that the gore will be projected away from (former) tongue-owner and onto walls and spectators without obstruction.
Standing in front of the fan will provide the hightest gore factor for the tongue-owner.

Rather moving genka.
I know what "I'm" gonna do!
*grabs fan and Honey*

n00b, since you've clearly got enough time to whip this little sucker out, wanna write a few college application essays for me?