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Overheard at a bar in Helios
What, you never met the Ratman? Now there was a helluva pirate. I first ran into him runnin’ guns across the Serc-Tani border. I was savin’ up for my first TPG Maud, squeezin’ every credit ‘til it screamed. Anyway, I’m headed out of G.R. in this POS Centaur that was three jumps from total meltdown, when this guy messages me. We get to chattin' back and forth. Seems really pleasant. I hit three clicks and am about to see ya later, when he says “Give me 25,000.”
I scoped my radar, and he’s nowhere to be seen. If I can’t see him, he can’t see me. He damn well can’t shoot me. So I’m thinkin’ this could be pretty interesting. I just keep coasting past 3 clicks and say “Are you pirating me?” He says “Yep.” Well, I laughed so hard I sprayed some godawful caffeine drink all over my instrument panel. I was so tickled that I sent him the credits and congratulated him on being the ballsiest pirate I’d ever met.
I ran into the Ratman again in Initros. We did some mining together, but that was way too dull for him. He was always wantin’ to grab a fighter and shoot somethin’. He gave up the mining, and I wasn’t sure I’d see him again. Figured he’d end up plastered on some Tani’s windshield. He needed a little stake to buy some fancy kinda fighter. I’d got my Maud and joined the Guild, so I was feelin’ a little flush. When I handed him 20,000 cr, he said “you ever need anything, you call.”
I didn’t see him again for months. From the chatter on 100, I gathered he’d done a little pirating and had plundered more than a few Tani convoys.
The last time I saw him was at Catequil. I was doin’ some mining in a beat up old moth. She wasn’t much to look at, but I’d had her armored up pretty good. The Serc convoys were comin’ in pretty regular, and I was chattin’ with the defenders as they came in for repairs. A few pirates came up and gave me a love tap just to say howdy. I had a pretty good rep with the Sercs, so I felt pretty safe.
I check my radar, and here comes the Ratman flyin’ one of those fancy Serc Vults. He draws a bead on me and heads in for a high speed pass. Only, he cuts it a little too close and clips a wing on my right engine casing. For all their first-class mechanical work, the Sercs never could get the wings on those Vults right. Look at them sideways and off they’d come.
Well, the Ratman bails out as his Vult pinwheels into the roid I’m mining. He says he’s okay, and I start yankin’ his chain about being a hot-shot pilot. We’re both yukkin’ it up, when I get a transmission from the station marshal to hold position. He shows up right away. With backup. And the Serc equivalent of handcuffs.
The Sercs don’t exactly read you your rights. Least not if you’re UIT. Quite a bit of squeeze later, I find out I’ve been arrested for destroying a Serc ship in monitored space. Apparently, my moth is considered a deadly weapon. Especially when unarmed and stationary. Lots more squeeze later, I’m firmly but politely escorted back to my ship and warned that another offense will result in being banned from Serc space.
The Ratman had been arrested too, for attacking another ship in monitored space. I tried to post bail for him, but the Sercs had turned decidedly cold. No one would tell me what would happen to him. Maybe some kind of implant adjustment or somethin’.
I haven’t seen him since. So, if anyone tries to extort you from clear across a sector, you tell him Broma sends his regards.
I scoped my radar, and he’s nowhere to be seen. If I can’t see him, he can’t see me. He damn well can’t shoot me. So I’m thinkin’ this could be pretty interesting. I just keep coasting past 3 clicks and say “Are you pirating me?” He says “Yep.” Well, I laughed so hard I sprayed some godawful caffeine drink all over my instrument panel. I was so tickled that I sent him the credits and congratulated him on being the ballsiest pirate I’d ever met.
I ran into the Ratman again in Initros. We did some mining together, but that was way too dull for him. He was always wantin’ to grab a fighter and shoot somethin’. He gave up the mining, and I wasn’t sure I’d see him again. Figured he’d end up plastered on some Tani’s windshield. He needed a little stake to buy some fancy kinda fighter. I’d got my Maud and joined the Guild, so I was feelin’ a little flush. When I handed him 20,000 cr, he said “you ever need anything, you call.”
I didn’t see him again for months. From the chatter on 100, I gathered he’d done a little pirating and had plundered more than a few Tani convoys.
The last time I saw him was at Catequil. I was doin’ some mining in a beat up old moth. She wasn’t much to look at, but I’d had her armored up pretty good. The Serc convoys were comin’ in pretty regular, and I was chattin’ with the defenders as they came in for repairs. A few pirates came up and gave me a love tap just to say howdy. I had a pretty good rep with the Sercs, so I felt pretty safe.
I check my radar, and here comes the Ratman flyin’ one of those fancy Serc Vults. He draws a bead on me and heads in for a high speed pass. Only, he cuts it a little too close and clips a wing on my right engine casing. For all their first-class mechanical work, the Sercs never could get the wings on those Vults right. Look at them sideways and off they’d come.
Well, the Ratman bails out as his Vult pinwheels into the roid I’m mining. He says he’s okay, and I start yankin’ his chain about being a hot-shot pilot. We’re both yukkin’ it up, when I get a transmission from the station marshal to hold position. He shows up right away. With backup. And the Serc equivalent of handcuffs.
The Sercs don’t exactly read you your rights. Least not if you’re UIT. Quite a bit of squeeze later, I find out I’ve been arrested for destroying a Serc ship in monitored space. Apparently, my moth is considered a deadly weapon. Especially when unarmed and stationary. Lots more squeeze later, I’m firmly but politely escorted back to my ship and warned that another offense will result in being banned from Serc space.
The Ratman had been arrested too, for attacking another ship in monitored space. I tried to post bail for him, but the Sercs had turned decidedly cold. No one would tell me what would happen to him. Maybe some kind of implant adjustment or somethin’.
I haven’t seen him since. So, if anyone tries to extort you from clear across a sector, you tell him Broma sends his regards.
All I can say is ROFLMAO :D
...best
...IC
...post
...ever
(vast apologies to everyone else that posted IC, as I'm sure to be forgetting someone)
...IC
...post
...ever
(vast apologies to everyone else that posted IC, as I'm sure to be forgetting someone)
ROFLMFAO!!! that wing bug ^.^
hehehe :) nice
/me likes