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CNN NEWS IN BRIEF: GOSSIP EDITION!

Oct 13, 2007 CORVUS NEWS NETWORK link
PHOENIX ALLIANCE/SYNDICATE WAR HOTTING UP!
A massive battle in Sedina B-8 temporarily shut down the wormhole and drew scads of gawkers. Could this be the next Latos War?

ITAN LEADERSHIP IN DISARRAY!
Several members ejected after disagreement with ITAN's new commander. To quote lord spidey: "F*** YOU OMEGA 0." Could ITAN be headed for yet another debacle?

DENEB RUN RENAMED!
The historic race around the galaxy has been temporarily renamed in honor of notorious pirate tumblemonster's birthday. The run will be called "THE GREAT TUMBLEMONSTER RACE AROUND THE GALAXY!" The organizers are said to be pleased.

THEOPOLIS DECLARES WAR ON TUMBLEMONSTER!
Tumblemonster responds: "Another one?! Ok, which guy is he again?"

ECKA ESTENK IS A TOTAL SLUT!
Ecka Estenk, famed dirty old miner and Commander of The Guild of Free Traders is a total slut! It's well known that Ecka has several children, but recent public revelations point to an ever increasing tally of illegitimate rock rats flying around the galaxy! Some reports even suggest Ecka has children that are older than he is! Can Ecka Estenk TRAVEL THROUGH TIME?!

VIPER GUILD DISBANDING?
The Viper Guild has vanished off the face of the galaxy! Besides the recent appearance of a single Viper in a sector no one ever visits, the Viper Guild has been conspicuously absent of late. When asked to comment, Piracy replied: "SWEET!"
Oct 13, 2007 FatStrat85 link
Sorry. We're here to stay. Maybe it should have read "CNN READERS DISBANDING?"... It's okay. I'll still read it.
Oct 13, 2007 mr bean link
god i love these stupid cnn things.
Oct 13, 2007 Phaserlight link
We're definitely still here. One of the oldest, strongest guilds in space. It's always been an honor wearing the [VPR] tag.
Oct 14, 2007 davejohn link
hehehe :-)
Oct 14, 2007 Whytee link
saturday smile:)

gossip is so awesome
Oct 14, 2007 Surbius link
It's fun to read I admit. Be nice to see a collections of these.
Oct 20, 2007 moldyman link
XD
Oct 22, 2007 LeberMac link
Whatever happened with that Sally Koshuni reporter? I think I left her floating in Pelatus...

Maybe this should be a Feature Edition of CNN News!
Oct 22, 2007 MSKanaka link
Eaten by space cows. The Pelatus Observer got that story, I think.
Oct 23, 2007 Sally Koshuni link
Sally woke up, feeling groggy and disoriented. She tried to sit up, but immediately smashed her head against a clear canopy which looked out on a tumbling starfield.

"What the..."

She struggled against the stasis pod restraints, making the tiny capsule wobble a bit more than it already was. Removing the restraints was difficult, but she was able to loosen them and roll onto her side within the small, coffin-shaped pod.

Lights on the lone display panel blinked red, and although she was not an engineer, their meaning was apparent: the oxygen and power levels were extremely low, dangerously so.

The panel registered her elevated adrenaline and stress levels on the biometric graph as she hastily scanned the starfield outside for a sign of anything or anyone that would come to her aid. The stars stared back, unblinkingly. There was nothing out there but vacuum.

Her rapid breathing depleted the oxygen faster than normal, and new warning alarms began to go off with voice alerts, cautioning the inhabitant of the stasis pod to contact the nearest local warranty service center to have the pod's consumables refilled.

Breathing became more difficult, as if someone was sitting on her chest. Her vision began to blur somewhat, and darkness crept in around the edges of her sight. It was then that the huge shape obscured the stars.

Something was very close to the stasis pod now. Sally squinted to try to make out a shape, but with her oxygen-starved brain and failing eyesight, she could not quite make it out. Her last sensation was of being enveloped in a giant maw; she imagined that it was Death, swallowing her and finally introducing her into the Void.

The space cow crunched down on the metal-rich stasis pod, breaking the seals, crushing the components and tanks, and grinding bone and sinew. It swallowed to let its first stomach dissolve some of the metal, later on it would regurgitate the majority of its lunch and chew it's cud a bit, grinding down some of the larger bits of metal and skull until it was ready for the next stomach.

It let out a large burp, and moved on in search of its next meal.
Oct 23, 2007 mr bean link
wow. what a great ending to an unfinished/failed rp leebs.
Dec 05, 2007 LeberMac link
Mmmm. More "failed" than "unfinished" I think, Bean 'ol boy.

Make more CNN gossip posts, tm!
Dec 05, 2007 Dr. Lecter link
Always nice to see the Void make an appearance.