"ZzzzzZZZZZzzz"

Smittens sat huddled in the seat of his Valkyrie X-1, asleep under a small synth-wool blanket. The explosions all around and slight bumps his ship took from twisted, shredded metal were not enough to wake him, as real Itani pounded wave after wave of Serco bots. For a nation so interested in the union between man and machine, they sure had trouble designing intelligent AI.

A loud beep awoke Smittens, the purple-pitch a signature touch of Itan tech-wizard drazed's newest creation: TargetLS. By installing it, Smittens could be notified about incoming pilots. And he was in luck-- a Serco had just entered the sector, by the name of "Regan Recaps."

Smittens threw off the blanket, adjusted his seat, and turboed towards the red foe. Targetting him on the way, Smittens caught the distinctively weak engine blast of an EC-89.

"Nub," Smittens jeered into the sector comm. At this, Regan flipped his ship around and flew towards the immature Itani. The fight was not long or challenging: Smittens didn't even bother strafing as he launched flare after flare at the sluggish bus.

[Sun Sep 23 16:50:40 2007] Smittens destroyed Regan Recaps

And it seemed one more kill would not be Smittens' only reward, as a revolving purple crate appeared from the center of Regan's explosion.

[Sun Sep 23 16:50:50 2007] [100] <Smittens> SHWEET!
[Sun Sep 23 16:50:56 2007] [100] <Smittens> You dropped a Gov Plasma Cannon!
[Sun Sep 23 16:50:59 2007] [100] <Smittens> i'm totally gonna sell this
[Sun Sep 23 16:51:01 2007] [100] <dangpp> LOL
[Sun Sep 23 16:51:02 2007] [100] <Regan Recaps> GIVE ME IT
[Sun Sep 23 16:51:04 2007] [100] <Regan Recaps> NOW
[Sun Sep 23 16:51:12 2007] [100] <Smittens> Come and get it!
[Sun Sep 23 16:51:20 2007] [100] <Regan Recaps> RARRAarg
[Sun Sep 23 16:51:26 2007] [100] <Regan Recaps> you GIVE ME THAT BACK
[Sun Sep 23 16:51:28 2007] [100] <dangpp> /rofl/
[Sun Sep 23 16:51:54 2007] [100] <Smittens> NEVAR!
[Sun Sep 23 16:52:21 2007] [100] <Regan Recaps> smittens is just being mean!
[Sun Sep 23 16:52:43 2007] [100] Smittens waves the Gov Cannon in Regans fcae

Chuckling, Smittens dropped the worthless cannon back into space and flew towards a group of Serco bots, blasting them instantly. But then TargetLS beeped again, and Smittens noticed Regan, returning in another EC-98. The Serco was furious, and Smittens imagined the spittle flying from Regan's mouth onto his controls as the Serco shouted into the sector.

[Sun Sep 23 16:52:45 2007] <Regan Recaps> GIVE ME
[Sun Sep 23 16:52:48 2007] <Regan Recaps> THAT GOVCANNON

Thinking for a moment, Smittens decided to SOMETHING the Serco a little longer. Using his newest invention, CargoFind, he found the previously-discarded Govcannon and picked it up before Regan noticed what he was doing.

[Sun Sep 23 16:53:42 2007] <Regan Recaps> do you has it?

The Valkyrie sped towards Regan, stopped in front of him, and opened the cargo bay. The Gov Cannon tumbled out in it's glowing purple crate, spinning just in front of the nose of Regan's ship.

[Sun Sep 23 16:53:46 2007] <Smittens> Go get it
[Sun Sep 23 16:53:47 2007] <Regan Recaps> HOORAH

As the Serco turboed forward to pick up the weapon, Smittens spun around and opened fire. A chainfired combination of neutron and positron fire cascaded down upon the slow EC-98.

[Sun Sep 23 16:53:53 2007] <Regan Recaps> No!!
[Sun Sep 23 16:53:57 2007] <Regan Recaps> it's mine and you can't have it!!
[Sun Sep 23 16:54:00 2007] Smittens destroyed Regan Recaps

Within moments of these words the cheap ship was engulfed in another fiery explosion.

[Sun Sep 23 16:54:02 2007] [100] <Regan Recaps> omg!!

Once again, the Gov Cannon rested where Regan's ship had last flown. Smittens opened his channel comm,

[Sun Sep 23 16:54:14 2007] [100] <Smittens> Hey a gov cannon!
[Sun Sep 23 16:54:19 2007] [100] <Smittens> Just what I always wanted
[Sun Sep 23 16:54:23 2007] [100] <Regan Recaps> argh!
[Sun Sep 23 16:55:19 2007] [100] <Regan Recaps> i'm coming for your head, smittens!

The Itani slowly accelerated forward, and upon hearing the "cla-chunk" of the cargo entering his hold, sent out another message.

[Sun Sep 23 16:55:42 2007] [100] Smittens thinks of all the things he can do with his new gov cannon
[Sun Sep 23 16:55:46 2007] [100] <Smittens> I think I'll call it Govvy
[Sun Sep 23 16:56:01 2007] [100] <dangpp> Nooo! That's my cannonys name!
[Sun Sep 23 16:56:07 2007] [100] <Regan Recaps> aw
[Sun Sep 23 16:56:25 2007] [100] <Smittens> or what do you think of Plasy?

So lost in his baiting of the Serco, Smittens did not hear TargetLS beep yet again.

[Sun Sep 23 16:56:26 2007] *Regan Recaps* Death to Itani!

Regan's hail startled him, and Smittens shut off his comm after one more message, this time sent to the sector.

[Sun Sep 23 16:56:30 2007] <Smittens> Or issuey?

As the (semi-)speeding bus approached Smittens, he grinned and turned his ship around. But seconds later, it was buffeted by a stream of neutron fire from behind. His fellow Itani had gone for repairs, and no one was attacking the bots!

[Sun Sep 23 16:57:06 2007] *Bromello-Ra Tudios destroyed Smittens
[Sun Sep 23 16:57:08 2007] <Smittens> NO!
[Sun Sep 23 16:57:12 2007] [100] <Regan Recaps> AHA
[Sun Sep 23 16:57:51 2007] You are entering Deneb K-5
[Sun Sep 23 16:57:26 2007] [100] <Smittens> But how will you find it without CargoFind plugin?
[Sun Sep 23 16:57:31 2007] [100] <Regan Recaps> but i do!
[Sun Sep 23 16:57:33 2007] [100] <Regan Recaps> ha!
[Sun Sep 23 16:57:41 2007] [100] <Smittens> You do what?
[Sun Sep 23 16:57:46 2007] [100] <Regan Recaps> have it!
[Sun Sep 23 16:57:49 2007] [100] <Smittens> NoOoOoooOOooOOoooOOoOOoo!!!
[Sun Sep 23 16:57:49 2007] [100] <Regan Recaps> and now my gov cannon too!

Thinking quickly, Smittens purchased another X-1 and jumped in, taking off and heading for the blue docking shield before his cockpit was even sealed. As soon as he was clear of the field, Smittens aimed towards an empty part of the sector and jammed the turbo button down as hard as he could. Once the necessary 3000m away, he jumped out, but did not arrive in C10. The trouble now was to lure the Serco into his trap.

[Sun Sep 23 16:57:51 2007] You are entering Deneb B-12
[Sun Sep 23 16:57:55 2007] [100] <Smittens> Gooooooooooooovvy!
[Sun Sep 23 16:58:03 2007] [100] <Smittens> I'll kill you you bastard!
[Sun Sep 23 16:58:04 2007] [100] <Regan Recaps> i shall retreat and sell it!
[Sun Sep 23 16:58:13 2007] [100] <Smittens> That's MY profit!
[Sun Sep 23 16:58:18 2007] [100] <Regan Recaps> no mine!
[Sun Sep 23 16:58:22 2007] [100] <Regan Recaps> i'll be rich :O
[Sun Sep 23 16:58:35 2007] [100] <Smittens> You're stealing my fortune!
[Sun Sep 23 16:58:50 2007] [100] <Regan Recaps> your bots are after me! so if you want this govcannon you'll have to go into deep space!
[Sun Sep 23 16:59:10 2007] [100] <Smittens> Noo!

Words flew from Smittens' mouth before he could even think about them. He was just trying to say whatever he could to get the Serco to fly into B12.

[Sun Sep 23 16:59:15 2007] [100] <Smittens> Just go back to serco space
[Sun Sep 23 16:59:21 2007] <Regan Recaps> hahah!!
[Sun Sep 23 16:59:22 2007] [100] <Smittens> I'd rather Govy live a happy life in a serco station than perish in empty space

Luck was on his side! The familiar ping of TargetLS announced Regan and his bus jumping in from C10. Smittens pushed his ship forward as fast as it would go, towards the slowly moving Serco.

[Sun Sep 23 16:59:26 2007] [100] <Regan Recaps> NO
[Sun Sep 23 16:59:28 2007] [100] <dangpp> lol.
[Sun Sep 23 16:59:29 2007] [100] <Regan Recaps> halp!!
[Sun Sep 23 16:59:47 2007] <Regan Recaps> you
[Sun Sep 23 16:59:48 2007] <Regan Recaps> will
[Sun Sep 23 16:59:49 2007] <Regan Recaps> never h
[Sun Sep 23 16:59:50 2007] <Regan Recaps> ave
[Sun Sep 23 16:59:53 2007] Smittens destroyed Regan Recaps
[Sun Sep 23 16:59:53 2007] <Regan Recaps> my GOVCANNOOOOON

Flush with his success, Smittens looked through the smoke and fire for the purple crate.

[Sun Sep 23 17:00:02 2007] [100] <Smittens> WOT!?

It was not there.

[Sun Sep 23 17:00:06 2007] [100] <Regan Recaps> VICTORY
[Sun Sep 23 17:00:07 2007] [100] <Smittens> Where is it!?
[Sun Sep 23 17:00:08 2007] [100] <Regan Recaps> epic
[Sun Sep 23 17:00:15 2007] [100] <Regan Recaps> it's somewhere in deep space in C-10!
[Sun Sep 23 17:00:17 2007] [100] <Regan Recaps> hahah!
[Sun Sep 23 17:00:19 2007] [100] <dangpp> Govy spoded.
[Sun Sep 23 17:00:31 2007] [100] <Regan Recaps> you will NEVER find it
[Sun Sep 23 17:00:42 2007] You are entering Deneb C-10

Smittens fired up CargoFind once again. But...

"There is no cargo in range with gov in its name"

[Sun Sep 23 17:00:50 2007] [100] <dangpp> Ah but smitt will get a reincarnation of govy.
[Sun Sep 23 17:00:57 2007] [100] <Regan Recaps> no

Smittens' eyes watered as he hit the CargoFind key again and again.

[Sun Sep 23 17:01:01 2007] [100] <Smittens> :'(

"There is no cargo in range with gov in its name"
"There is no cargo in range with gov in its name"

[Sun Sep 23 17:01:12 2007] [100] <Smittens> Cmon cargofind, work you bastard!

"There is no cargo in range with gov in its name"
"There is no cargo in range with gov in its name"
"There is no cargo in range with gov in its name"
"There is no cargo in range with gov in its name"

[Sun Sep 23 17:01:27 2007] [100] <Smittens> No
[Sun Sep 23 17:01:29 2007] [100] <Smittens> Noooo
[Sun Sep 23 17:01:30 2007] [100] <dangpp> And this is why VO isnt advertised to the public.

"There is no cargo in range with gov in its name"
"There is no cargo in range with gov in its name"
"There is no cargo in range with gov in its name"

A tear rolled down Smittens' cheek. The unfamiliar taste of salt fell upon his lips.

[Sun Sep 23 17:01:53 2007] [100] <Regan Recaps> i win smittens!

There is no cargo in range with gov in its name

heh

hahah, I win Smittens :D