PIRATES ADMIT TO TRADING FOR EXTRA INCOME
You can have your cake and feed it to Gru...

ATLAS OF DOOM SIGHTINGS ON THE RISE
So far no one has been hurt, but several hardened pirates reportedly can't sleep, and the Vipers have suspiciously been avoiding the entire galaxy...

MULTI-GUILD ALLIANCE ANNOUNCE PLANS TO TAME GRAY SPACE
CDC and SCC have the whips and chains ready...

BLACKHOLE GOLDCLAW RETURNS
Collective sigh of disgust is heard throughout known space.

GRAY SPACE RUMBLING WITH DISCONTENT
What else is new?

GALAXY SEES MASSIVE INFLUX OF NEW PILOTS
60% report nodding off to sleep half way through the tutorial, awaking only to find their trial period has run out.

STUDY FINDS BITTERNESS SIGN OF LOW SELF ESTEEM
Bitter individuals prone to repeating unfunny jokes and doing meanial jobs on bad tween films

MASSIVE SURGE OF PIRACY REPORTED
Pirates graciously thank new pilots for their patronage.

DENEB RUN TURNS 100
Watch out for the Atlas of Doom...

CDC and SCC have the whips and chains ready

Can we please not have manharu's guild and BDSM referenced in the same breath? Some of us like sleeping at night. Ugh.