Job Listing: Collection Agent

Job Requirements:
- Ability to think creatively in morally-ambiguous situations
- Phone and computer skills required for proper communications
- Ability to assertively collect monies from deadbeat individuals and guilds
- Superior combat skills a plus

Apply in-person to the Corvus News Network or the Corvus News Attorney. Or, alternatively, post your resume in this thread.

Sububu Bodo

Current stats are 9/9/10/9/5 with 191 real kills and 248 ships lost.

I excel in all that you require and then some. Council/Lt. of PWND with some more than average people to vouch for me. Plus with combat experience from both Grey Space and the front line.

I'd be more than willing to 'collect' for Corvus.

4022 player kills
Good standing with Corvus Prime
Able to buy many different ships and weaponry
Able to fight many different ships and weaponry effectively
I have fulfilled many contracts before

I'll do it >:D
~Mecha Touriuas

Very well.

We accept the applications of Sububu Bodo and Mecha Touriaus.

We will get back to you if we should require your services. Please allow us 15 days to determine whether we will need to resort to collections agents.

- Ability to think creatively in morally-ambiguous situations Aptly demonstrated.

- Phone and computer skills required for proper communications I'm posting this, aren't I?

- Ability to assertively collect monies from deadbeat individuals and guilds It would be my pleasure.

- Superior combat skills a plus I'll happily demonstrate the flammability of other applicants' ships, if you need further convincing.

Sincerely,

Trakus Shar

How is an ITAN member going to collect from their own guild?

shame on you trakus!

[ITAN] members should never work with pirate scum!

CNN, we are discussing it. Thank you for the 15 days.
And yes, I know I'm not a Council member or Lieutenant, but I have spoken with the rest of the guild, and they will speak as well. Ye see, Mecha, unlike your Serco guilds, in Itani guilds, everyone has a voice. Sorry if you didn't know this. I apologize for any inconvenience. Thank you for your cooperation in this, CNN. We wish to prevent any unnecessary bloodshed.

Ehr

Mister Shar, I do not know exactly HOW you came to be in the employ of [ITAN], but your ability to infiltrate that guild shows that you have promise.

On behalf of my client, I tentatively accept your application for Collection Agent.

Perhaps it would be best that you attempt to convince Mister LeberMac to part with his forfeiture before we have to resort to collections procedures? I assume that, since you are in the guild, that you have a way to communicate with him.

Once again, thank you to everyone who has submitted their application. We'll be in touch.

/me laughs at Ehr

There is much bloodshed to be had, mostly yours. And I am in no serco guild and I will remain that way by my own choice. I don't give a damn about your guild rules, you don't use them anyway. I'll continue to kill your guild, and I only speak with council. LTs, or the commander. The members might aswell just be...mute

Mecha was never the type to like rules or structure anyway.

As an incentive, I have been authorized by my client to discuss the financial terms of the employment.

As a Collections Agent, you are authorized to take any action necessary to obtain the court-ordered forfeiture from the Itani nation, and more specifically, the Coalition of ITAN.

The amount is 42 million credits.

My client's generous offer is that, should your services be required, your earnings shall be 25% of any and all collections that you take in from Itani players.

As you make deposits into the Corvus News Network's Official Kidnapping Reimbursement Fund and Trust (Hereafter known as "the fund"), you will be paid out of the fund money your percentage.

If at any time the fund reaches the 42 million mark with no outstanding debt or obligations, your contract with us will be considered terminated, the fund will be liquidated and turned over to the Corvus News Network, and the proper satisfaction papers filed with the Corvus Circuit Court. However, you may continue to work as a Collections Agent in your own capacity with another entity or freelance as you see fit, of course.

We truly hope that this situation can be resolved without difficulty, but on the off chance that the entire forfeiture cannot be claimed in 15 days' time, we certainly look forward to working with you all.

Very sincerely,

Corvus News Attorney
cc: CORVUS NEWS NETWORK

HURRY!!!
ITS TIME TO IMPLEMENT PLAN A!!!!!!!!
[ITAN] MEMBERS AWAY!!!

I'll be in touch with LeberMeat.

there are discussions in the guild of having you removed from the guild unless you cease your partnership with corvus trakus.

i have posted a thread on the guild website if you would like to comment on this.

The world has become a sad place when tipstaffs roam grey space unchecked, haranguing renowned denizens as soon as they set foot on station floors.

Fie! I say to those who, willlingly, lend their skills to enterprises as rum as this.

-- mifune toshiro kanchou, Serco Navy captain

Bean, if someone wants to boot me, they should go right ahead. But for ITAN's interests, you might want to wait until I've had a chance to talk with Leebs. You people can be so short sighted, eesh.

Is ITAN a pirate/mercenary guild then? I hadn't realised that at all.

"ITS TIME TO IMPLEMENT PLAN A!!!!!!!!
[ITAN] MEMBERS AWAY!!!"

Apposite.

/me backhands blackadder

WHY *smack*

DON'T *smack*

YOU *smack*

CHILL *smack*

THE *smack*

FUCK *smack*

OUT *smack*

/me pours a strong laxative in Lecter's drink at the bar while the cannibalistically inclined is dishing out HTH punishment.