No, we didn't buy it. We took it. Because we are takers. Of hymns.

- mifune toshiro kanchou, Serco Navy

"Even if I *do* have a loudmouth nosy reporter in the backseat of the Centurion with me who won't shaddup."

could be worse, you could have This in the back seet:

"/me runs round in full circles making WEEE WOOO WEEE WOOO noises.

I'm a fire engine I am, YARRR!"

Christ, yes, that Yoda is an annoying little green dude, eh? Especially with the red laser thingy eyepiece thing. And the constant Yarring... Gah.

But still, getting probing questions asked of you as you're dodging AGT fire is... unnerving...

Since when can you dodge AGT fire? Or much else, for that matter.

/me sets VO on fire.
Now where is that fire engine?

Watch your mouth, little splash. Save that tune for the next "rowboat in smurf-water" commercial.

RelayeR
Council of SoR

(back to the tale)

E. Argus, drunk out of his mind stumbles through door to find this "political" discussion. At first he is quite confused, but as the double vision wears off he can see the Lieutenant and other members of the [ITAN] guild who are stationed on this... well... station. Sitting around a the far end of a very long table are several members of [ITAN]. In front of him he notices a number of people portrayed in holographics.

After discharging a large amount of vomit behind the door (Damned crown royal!) he is able to recognize that the holographic display of people are in Secro uniforms. apparently this was some sort of military discussion between the waring factions. "Wow!" He thinks aloud, "i just stumble into the worst hornets nest don't I?"

Everyone turns to look at this new intruder. Leber is the first to respond (I know! Who would have thought that he'd still have such quick reflexes after being more of a drunkard than myself!) "What the FRAK are you doing in here?!"

To this E. Argus shakes some more of his drunkenness out and stands a little more proudly. You can see the wheels turn... grind... and eventually bust as he attempts to come up with a better reason than the truth for barging into the "political" argume... um... i mean meeting that was taking place.

After delaying as long as he could, he slumps his shoulders and admits the truth, "Well, sir, the truth is that i just got back from losing my last ship and i was drinking her away... when... well i stumbled in here in search of the bar." Truth be told, E. Argus was the best cursed coward in space. He could flee from a sour fight and dodge just about anything... and couldn't hit the broad side of a cap ship from 100m.

About his only redeeming quality was that he was a great distraction for enemies to shot at while Itani aces lined them up. Unfortunately his last run had left his ship the "Lauraine" in ashes and him in a cryotube. He had spent the last five days on a binge of Crown Royal, Jack D, the captain, and some green stuff that he was relatively sure was illegal.

LeberMac was a little less than pleased as the Secro's smirked at E. Argus' loss. He then pointed to a chair in the corner of the room. There sat the little green creature duck taped to a chair. E. Argus had to look away from it when it looked at him... it had a laser pointer in the one eye that didn't suit E. Argus's inebriated state. The Lieutenant said in the fakest polite tone he could muster, "That's the last moron that barged into this meeting, your more then welcome to join him."

"Uh... no thanks... I was just headed to the bar anyways... y'all enjoy your... erm... conversation." E. Argus replied as he stumbled back out the door and cursing as he stepped in his previously deposited vomit...

Argus's new motto (courtesy of Jeff Goldblum): I... I can't read or write.

nope doctor... i can't. that's happens when you have dyslexia... that and i'm only an under grad... you are a doctor, what's your excuse? nonetheless, thanks for the motto, i'll be sure to use it on every post! oh, and what's the word on your movie? is it out yet?

my motto:
I... I can't read or write.

edit: ok... yah there are a lot of errors... i'll do my best to revise them, but i am only human and was in remediation for my disability to write... but reading on the other hand i can do quite fine. i just like trying to write every now and then. i'm sure that you understand that. you write quite a bit here in the forums.

Apparently duct tape is YodaofBorg's kryptonite? Who knew?

(OOC: And why are we wearing Serco uniforms? Is it "dress like a moron" day?)

no, no... i used context from the conversation after your story. the idea is that you are having a discussion with secros... military negotiations... (i took this from the secros that where talking in this thread earlier)... make sense?

yah... i had to add yoda... it was just to funny... i was just trying to add to the evolving discussion... sorry for the confusion.

edit: i can't forget my motto!!!

I... I can't read or write.

SERCO, dammit!

Serco, pl. Serco. Citizens of one of the Nations in Vendetta Online. Penchant for cybernetic implants and semi-conscious killing machines. State religion: Cult of the Lady Serco.

-- Mag. mifune toshiro, Board of rabid Serco spell checkers

i'm only an under grad... you are a doctor, what's your excuse?

My excuse for what? I don't write like that.

And I think you should make the motto in bold and underlined.

[edit] You will need to open the text thus [ u ][ b ] (minus the extra spaces), closing like so: [/ u ][ / b] (again minus the extra spaces). [/edit]

[edit part dux]You seriously think I'd be concerned about your perception of me IRL? That's akin to suggesting that I'd worry about the feelings of the stuff I'd scrape off my shoe. Well, to be fair, that I'd have someone like AJRimmer (or his poor, differently abled sister) scrape off my shoe for $3.50[/edit part dux]

what's you excuse for not having manners? but then again, this is indeed an online game and we have no need to worry about another persons perception of us do we? (smiles politely)

anyway, as for your idea of bold and underline (and i'm sure you would like to see italics as well...) i'm afraid that i don't know how to perform the actions recommended in this forum... sorry. Nonetheless, i will continue to use my motto with pride!

I... I can't read or write.

edit: sorry Toshiro! my drunken state was still affecting me. Serco... i think i have it now. if i am ever half the writer that the doctor is i will right a story and be sure to get Serco right. ok?

*Serco.

thank you Doctor... the correction has been made...

Oh, and Mr. Jeff Goldblum, you wouldn't happen to be an English teacher would you? You have done done such a fine job of editing my writing that i think i might have to ask you to edit all of my writing before I submit it to my classes.

my motto:

I... I can't read or write.

I'm glad we got that cleared up, but I disupte the capital S in serco. It attaches undue importance.

I'm with LeberMac on that one. Anyway, Lebermac, i love your writing. I'm trying to improve my own writing, and I have just put out my first story. Point is, I was wondering if you had any tips to help get me started? Well, other than my grammar. It seems that my grammar is only marginally better than Argus11 here. Sorry, guy, no offense. Anyway, any help would be greatly appreciated.

If it's serco, then it's _itani.

LeberMac, waking up from another drunken binge in the office, suddenly had an urge to kill a certain serco professor. He began his devious plotting by mentally conjuring up complex diagrams and killzone layouts, but ended up just having another drink. He discarded the empty bottle in the general direction of the trash, misssing by several meters.

"Heh..." he muttered to himself, "That Mifune never leaves his lab anymore anyway..." *hic* "Thinks he's all that with his subscript font and his well-thought-out quips..." *hic*

LeberMac rolled off the couch and onto the floor with a thud. Lucky for him, he discovered a half-full bottle of tequila underneath the battle-worn couch - the one he'd lost last night and never bothered to look for, since a multitude of other bottles were neatly arranged in his office liquor cabinet for easy access.

He grabbed the bottle, took a swig and laid on his back, admiring the ceiling.

"Bah, tosh in'nt as bad as Lecter at least... little fracker dunnt know when ta shaddup..." *hic* "...'parently can't just LEAVE either, gotta stick 'round and be all pissy 'bout things... gor'am serco..." *hic* "...always overstayin' der welcome and breakin' furniture wit their heavy asses..."

LeberMac rolled across the floor to his desk, which was of great assistance in helping him stand up. As soon as he raised his head above chest-level, though, he got light-headed and decided that having a seat in the desk chair would be more appropriate than standing. As soon as he hit the chair, the door chime sounded.

"Damn," thought LeberMac, "I thought I'd vandalized that annoying doorchime." He harumpfed and yelled to the door "Schumm Innn!"

Sally Koshuni walked through the open doorway, dressed smartly in a crisp blue pantsuit, her Mark VII datapad (Platinum Pro Edition) clutched in her hands, ready for her embedded reporting duties as a ridealong with LeberMac.

"Ohhh noooo. It'sh na' Munnay already ish it?" *hic* He stood to either throw his visitor out, or to escort her to the docking bay - he hadn't decided yet; however, gravity and alcohol intervened, and he passed out as he stood up too fast, smashing his teeth into the desk as he fell, hitting the floor awkwardly. The pain was worth it to see Koshuni's horrified expression.

"Bee rite wit you ma'am..." LeberMac sputtered out from between shattered incisors, spraying bright red arterial blood across the floor in Sally's direction. He had a good laugh as he passed out again from the combination of an amazingly high blood-alcohol level and the pain of a mouthful of bloody chiclets. The flowing blood pooled under his head and the reporter backed slowly out of the room as the medics arrived.

"Please, ma'am, let us handle this," one of the senior med-techs said to Sally Koshuni as he edged past her into the office.

"Oh my stars does this happen often? I didn't even call for medical assistance yet!" Koshuni said, amazed at the response time.

"Oh, no ma'am. Standard procedure for LeberMac. 7:00 AM wakeup routine," the med-tech looked over his shoulder at his teammates, who were suctioning the blood out of LeberMac's unconscious mouth, "Usually it's just choking on vomit or somesuch, but seems like almost every morning he'll need our help. Now, if you'll please wait outside, we'll prep him for the day, ma'am... There you go, thank you."

Sally Koshuni stepped back and allowed the med-tech to close the office door. Sounds from within the indicated various equipment being initialized and prepped.

She walked back to the mess hall and decided on more coffee. This might be a long day.