**feel free to add your own**
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Dear Galaxy Annie,
I am a lonely space pilot in my home sector of Dantia C-3. How do i go about meeting someone?
- Lonely in Red

Dear Lonely in Red,
I am truly sorry to hear about your difficulties, but there is nothing you can do about being of Serco decent. Better luck next time.

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Dear Galaxy Annie,
My friend told me that if you mine an ice asteroid for too long, you'll grow hair on your palms, you'll go blind, and you'll catch a terrible disease. Is he right?
- Paranoid Pilot, Dau L-10

Dear Paranoid Pilot,
Everything your friend said is TRUE. By mining an ice asteroid past 300.1 K you release deadly bacteria into the surrounding atmosphere therefore allowing it to attack your ship's hull. Make sure that you are NOT heating the asteroid past that mark.

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Dear Galaxy Annie,
I can't find my keys. I know i had them yesterday, but i don't remember where I put them. Can you help me find my keys?
- Kannus Lanuk, Pherona

Dear Dumbass,
Look under the sofa.

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Dear Galaxy Annie,
I have a problem with keeping friends. Nobody seems to like me. Everyone I come in contact with seems to think all I want to do is harm them, when in fact, all they really have to do is just transfer 50k credits to me and they'll live. Some of the friends that I do have, will probably just shoot me from behind if I don't watch where i fly. What should I do to make more friends?
- Peg-Leg Joe, definitely NOT a pirate

Dear Joe,
It sounds like you have quite a problem on your hands there. My suggestion is to lower your asking price and maybe more people will come back to you. Have you thought of changing professions? Maybe a teacher, or a nice job with the Department of Agriculture. Whatever you choose will be the right path. Good luck.

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Dear Galaxy Annie,
Why is a samoflange so heavy? I fly so slowly when there are a couple of them in my cargo hold.
-Deuce Spade, Azek

Dear Duece,
What the F#@K is a Samoflange?!?

Dear Galaxy Annie,
I'm allergic to the upholstery on my ship's pilot chair. It gives me an itchy, bumpy red rash right on the large flat surface of my buttocks. I'm a long haul trader, so as you can imagine, my buttocks' flat surface is quite large and jiggly. When it jiggles I get even more uncomfortable, as my rash ridden buttocks rubs against my ill fitting flight suit, causing yet more irritation. What do I do?

-Rubbed-the-wrong-way, Verasi I-5

Dear Rubbed-the-wrong-way,
First, get off your rash ridden fat ass and get some excercise. Less butt surface area means less space for a rash to form. Second, get yourself one of those fancy wooden bead seat covers like people had in their cars in the Earth 70's. A beaded seat cover will create a nice empty space between you and your seat upholstery, minimizing or even eliminating your allergic reaction. The seat cover has the added benefit of allowing increased airflow between the seat and your bottom, which will decrease your body odor buildup, which you deffinately need, because you're fat.

Dear Galaxy Annie,

Why can't I put my feet on the samoflange?

-Looking for a footrest, Dau

Dear Galaxy Annie,

I'm a Nigerian prince looking to smuggle some money out of the country because of the civil war..

Dear Scammer in Nigeria,
Go play in some traffic, you'll be doing all of us a favor.