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COI Purchase Order / Supply agreement #MGLV-4433-12-03-01

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Dec 03, 2005 mgl_mouser link
Dear TPG Representatives,

It is with great honor, joy and pride that, as Acting Lieutenant-Council of the Coalition Of Itan, I get to file-in the very first Purchase Order and Supply Agreement for your upcoming fighter class ship, the TPG Raptor.

Recent field tests by your staff and the detailed result reports have given us full confidence into this ship and in it's capabilities.

As a long time allie of TPG and as an Admired TPG friend, I'm looking forward to enjoy your preferred-pricing discount of 5% on any ship purchase.

As Acting Lieutenant-Counil of [ITAN], I'm also looking forward to the 10% discount rate for bulk purchases for COI pilots and Itani citizens. We need only to be reassured of the supply chain being able to fulfill it's orders on-time for this one last agreement.

Fully-signed contrats were sent via Trader Convoy at the time of this transmission. Also included in this convoy are the documents you requested for long-term ship performance evaluation and thrust balancing forms we'll routinely be filing in in order to help the TPG Corp to balance this ship in combat situation, what your field test staff did not have a chance to do themselves other than drone and unaligned bots tests.

I do trust that the escape pods are working fine by now. Right? I have held a remembrance ceremony for the last 3 test pilots that did not make it out of the test rigs. I may actually christen my first Raptor in their name.

Yours truly,
Acting Lieutenant-Council Mogul Velaio
Coalition of Itan
Dec 03, 2005 LeberMac link
Oooh! Mogul you're getting one? Can I sit in it? C'mon, just for a second!
Dec 03, 2005 tumblemonster link
Dear Coalition of Itan,

It is with great honor, joy and pride that I, Acting Leader of the unaffiliated pirate movement, get to blow up your first Raptor.

Recent field tests by my neuts give me full confidence that, whatever the performance level of the ship, the Itani pilots flying it will make it supremely easy to destroy.

As a long time killer of pilots, I'm looking forward to the 10% increase in passage fees you'll pay to keep your shiny new Raptors intact as you pass through my Wormhole.

Fully signed contracts sent via Trader Convoy have been interecepted and destroyed.

I do hope the escape pods are working now, you'll need them.

Yours Truly,
tumblemonster
Acting blower upper of Raptors
Dec 03, 2005 LeberMac link
My dear tumblemonster,

Recent field tests prove that the [Itan] Coalition of Itan has more to fear from wayward asteroids than from some silly misguided pirates.

In the future, I suggest trying your scare tactics on a group of pre-schoolers first, to gauge its effectiveness or lack thereof.

Aggressively yours,

LeberMac
Official Drunkard of [Itan]
Dec 03, 2005 icbm1987 link
Dear Lebermac,

I regret to inform you that the word you are looking for is "pre-schooler", not the fictictious "preeschooler."

Thank you and happy typing,

Zoras Ock
Dec 03, 2005 LeberMac link
Dear Zoras,

,,|,,

Sincerely,

LeberMac

(Hehe. Edited.)
Dec 03, 2005 TPG Management link
We, the management at TPG, have decided to install a breath analysis system to prevent Lebe ah um I mean people from flying the new Raptor while intoxicated. We at TPG always put safety first.

Also there is a hidden device that monitors chat, and if the pilot is found to correct spelling and grammar of others, he/she will be promptly ejected.

Thank you.
Dec 03, 2005 The Octagon link
Hey TPG:

,,|,

You're all a bunch of pussies!

Sincerely,
The Octagon
of
Xang Xi Automated Systems

P.S. Corvus says you're ghey.
Dec 03, 2005 UIT Bank Inc. link
Dear Coalition of Itan,

We regret to inform you that you have exceeded the credit limit of 15,000,000,000cr of your Mastercard number XXXX-XXXX-XXXX-1337 for this month, thus we are unable to process the following order :

Supply agreement #MGLV-4433-12-03-01
Item : TPG Raptor Mk1
Merchant : The Propeller Group (ID : 15991AC3)

Please pay your credit card bill at the end of the month to avoid an increase in the APR of your UIT Bank Corporate(TM) MasterCard.

Thank you.

Yours sincerely,
UIT Bank Corp. Inc.
Dec 03, 2005 smittens link
Wait, they're using my credit card?
Dec 04, 2005 tumblemonster link
Dear Everyone,

While my initial mockery of the Coalition of Itan was witty, clever, original, and quite funny, your attempts to mimick my genius are sorely lacking in all four of the above requisite areas. Subsequently, you have been judged posers.

Pwning you,
-tumblemonster
Dec 04, 2005 LeberMac link
I demand a retrial!

...and...

I want a ride in Mogul's Raptor!
Dec 04, 2005 softy2 link
Eh, I thought The Octagon's post was the funniest.

Besides, I always thought self-righteous mockery is usually not funny. Satire, on the other hand, is pretty funny. Maybe it's the secret Brit in me....
Dec 04, 2005 thergvk link
meh, nothing in this thread is funny. however, tubmle is indeed the most witty and creative of the bunch.

signed thergvk
Dec 04, 2005 smittens link
Nice demonstration of how exactly similar we are, tumble
Dec 04, 2005 tumblemonster link
Idiot.
Dec 04, 2005 smittens link
And another!
Dec 04, 2005 icbm1987 link
NINNY!
Dec 04, 2005 Dark Knight link
The Octagon are teh ninnies, and who? me? is one too.

=P
Dec 04, 2005 The Octagon link
There are eight of us, retard. And now, we've unanimously decided not to sell you our special ship, the ... umm ... (we don't have one do we? ... no? shit) ... Well when we get one, we won't sell it to you!

So there!

You suck ,,|, and all the rest.

The Octagon
of
Xang Xi Automated Systems