Monk's on vacation on Divinia now. But if you'll leave your name and contact numbe, I'll be sure to not tell him.

*Peeeep*

Monk? It's me, Jex.

Remember that club two weeks ago in Azek, and the girl with the nice rack and unfeasably large hips? Remember our bet?

Well, she says hi, and you owe me a hundred credits.

MWAHAHAHAHAHA!

I'll be sure to collect when you get back!

*click*

*peeeep*

Monk.. rember me...???

maybe not, youre where pretty lost that weekend *smiles*
But anyway, thanx for that weekend *smootche*
Miss you baby

*sounds of fluffy wings and a little giggle*

*click*

*BEEP*

Bank has arthorized the move of ALL Assets from your accout to your new Accout, called "zamzx zik" thank you for using Apple banking.

*BEEP*

hahaha, you stink monk

*BEEP*

end of message's

*beep*
Just thoght I'd remind you about the zero-grav golf appointment next week.

Oh, and try not to decompress any stations this time, so stay to plasteel balls. That's right, no xith balls this time! Ok?

*click*

*beep*

Dammit monky, your dead meat, I may even feed you to Lecter, I tol*cough*asked you to do my damn washing, and I get my white socks back pink? Its an insult man, see you around.

*click*

*Beep*

Hey Monk, where is that money you owe me for that....... a...... "mission" you sent me to do?

*Click*

*beep*

hey.. monk..

guess you arent in right now.. damn i hate talking to these things.. odd huh, a cyborg that hates talking to a machine.. anyhow..

ahh forget it..

*click*

*Beep*

Mr. Monk? Umm.. I'm calling to let you know that your entry in the 43rd Invitational Vogon Poetry Writing Contest has won 3rd place. But..ah..there’s a bit of a problem, sorry to say. A copy got out on the planet of Gabea before we could get it to the Center for Disease Control.. and now the Gabean government wants you to pay 15.2 Gigacredits for the clean-up.

Congratulations, though..

*click*

*beep*

About the baby... I think we can both agree that what happened was for the best. You got your stem cells, I got my hamburger. Is it really necessary to keep sending these death threats? You're the one who operated the grinder.

Seriously.

*click*

um im gonna guess that this goes off topic really soon

*BEEP*

I've got yer wallet.

"*BEEP*"

Hahaha... gotta love being Serco. Oh wait, you can't do that... can you fleshbag?

*BEEP*

LOL

*Beep*

Hey monky,Red here i was thinkin i dont think 20c is anof for that one night..You know what im talkin about.

*Beep*

*beep*

Dearest Mr. Monk,

It is with warmest regards for you and yours that I call to you today. I am Mr. Michael Mbutu, son of the late General Mbutu of the Serco Military Council. He had a private account of bank in which was kept safe 20 Million in Galactic Credits. Now, he had kept this hidden from the Council, but I cannot transfer the money on my own. If you will provide an account for safe keeping of the fund, we may be able to make arrangement that will mutually beneficial to us both. Now, what I need---

*BLAMBLAMBLAMthud*

Sorry for the disturbance. One less comm-spammer, courtesy of The Vipers.

*beep*

*beep*

PS If you need me to trace any calls, then I might be able to help

-CNH

*beep*

*beep*

*hic* Hey it's you. I mean it's me. Ah, whatever. You won't remember this anyway *hic. or that I won't .........

*hic*

Anyway, the vacation's sooooooo boring. Just tree after tree after tree after.......(trails off for two minutes) after. tr *BEEP*

*beep*

*hic* *hic* Yeah the damn thing cut me off again. Now where was I? *hic*

Ah. screw it. Just remember to say hi to all the pretty ladies back home. *hic* Yeah you! *hic*

*beep*

*Beep*

Hi, dont.... forget.... about... the...................SPIKE!

PS. Uhh...

*Click

*Beep*

You watched the tape, didn't you?
Do you like scarey movies?

*Beep*