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Chuck Norris JOKE Thread

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May 03, 2006 smittens link
Original ones please.

"Chuck Norris once saved 100 orphans from a burning building so he could kill them himself"

"Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? To kill you"

"Everything that goes up must come down, unless it was Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kicked"

"The negative reciprocal of Chuck Norris is Chuck Norris"
May 03, 2006 RelayeR link
There's only one thing Chuck Norris can't do...create a rock so big that even he can't lift it... nevermind, he can do that too.
May 03, 2006 SPACERANGER link
"Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried."

"Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits."
May 03, 2006 LeberMac link
Those aren't original, Spaceranger you fool. I made them up about a year ago, but Chuck Norris found out and roundhouse kicked me until I attributed the origins to him.
May 03, 2006 SPACERANGER link
Aw.
May 03, 2006 UncleDave link
Chuck Norris doesn't go botting, he roundhouse kicks the queen and they all fall out dead.
May 03, 2006 genka link
Chuck Norris once made a Chuck Norris joke that was actually funny.
May 04, 2006 moldyman link
Really genka!? O_O Or did "Chuck Norris roundhouse kick you until you said it was funny"?

/me thinks these jokes are stupid
May 04, 2006 KixKizzle link
The greeks used to think that Atlas held the earth up on his shoulders.... Well atleast he did till Chuck Norris round house kicked him in the face.
May 04, 2006 Whistler link
When will the jokes start?

These are the community standard, and they are pretty bad:

http://www.sptimes.com/2006/02/03/Worldandnation/Heard_the_one_about_C.shtml
May 04, 2006 moldyman link
Now that article was good
May 04, 2006 smittens link
Nothing like getting shot down by the FM...
May 05, 2006 Cunjo link
"Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? To kill you"

Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives... and lived.
May 05, 2006 MSKanaka link
Chuck Norris doesn't fight the Leviathan. He just looks at it and the Leviathan types /explode.

Chuck Norris eats samoflange for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
May 05, 2006 FreedomBird link
Chuck Norris once ate a bean burrito, the event that followed is now known as the big bang.

Chuck Norris is nuetral not because he doesn't like the war but instead because he wants to roundhouse kick people on both sides.

If Chuck Norris knew we were talking about him we'd all get roundhouse kicked.

Some believe that it is Chuck Norris, not Akan, who gave the order to attack the Serco people on Terra II.

There was no such thing as the Goliath Cannon, it was actually Chuck Norris.

If Chuck Norris showed up to a cap fight there would be no winner.

Chuck Norris doesn't fly a ship because his roundhouse kicks are infinitly more powerful than any conventional weapon.
May 05, 2006 smittens link
Love 'em FB!
May 05, 2006 Doukutsu link
The payload of the avalon torpedo is a single drop of Chuck Norris' sweat. They weren't removed from the game because of balance issues... but simply because Chuck sweats very rarely.
May 06, 2006 moldyman link
*sigh* Fine...

Chuck Norris doesn't need a garbage truck to take down the server
May 06, 2006 Whistler link
Q: How many Chuck Norrises does it take to screw in a light bulb?"

A: There is only one Chuck Norris. He does not require light to find you. Go screw it in yourself if you like - but you STILL won't see the roundhouse coming.
May 06, 2006 smittens link
:)