Added some more direct information about who and what we are, and why we're different. Hopefully aligning expectations of new users and describing our strengths will outweigh any immediate disappointment in our weaknesses.

http://www.vendetta-online.com/h/help.html

Feedback welcome.

Piracy is a lie!

Looks great, Inc.

Feedback: Awesome.

Great job inc :)

It reads well, and does indeed answer more of the questions potential new players have. I particularly like the hints about a version 2.0 coming soon, hopefully this year. That's encouraging news for anybody (like me) who's surprised at things like the relatively small playerbase, or the lack of some features very common in other MMORPGs. When somebody mentioned VO in a "what other games do you play" thread elsewhere, I looked at it and was very hesitant about spending money on something that appeared to still be in beta. This introduction does a better job of explaining your development strategy. Nice work.

I wonder how effective this intro would be for somebody with no MMORPG experience at all, though. Such a person might be much more hesitant when he reads about the limitations. I'm thinking the intro could do with some more descriptive language about VO's strong points, particularly the real-time 3D space sim combat, manually controlled by the player. That's the big selling point you have over EVE and a couple other games, so sell it! This strength is mentioned, but needs a greater emphasis IMO. Also, when you write "some of our graphics assets can look slightly dated," it couldn't hurt to follow up with something along the lines of "discerning players know it's the gameplay, not graphics, that make a game fun." Maybe mention the player-created custom skins and plugins.

'Scuse my criticism. I'm loving this game, and want to see you go far. :)

What forum was that thread in? Just curious. :)

http://www.pardus.at/welcome.php

Not to drag us off topic.

Winter Owl: I added the following sentence to the first paragraph:

''You directly pilot and fly your own ship, you are not a back-seat "navigator".''

I figure the first paragraph has to effectively describe the game to anyone with a low attention span. Anyone willing to read on to the end will hopefully give the game a shot. There are a lot of other pros and points I could write about, but I didn't want to weigh the thing down and make it too long, for fear no one would read it. I did add a little about the skins and plugins to the end of the PCC section.

I didn't want to make any comment on what discerning players might like or dislike.. after all, a lot of people really do like eye candy. I figured the fact that we're prioritizing gameplay says where we're coming from, the simplest that I can. To each their own.

Also, when the Trac goes public, I intend to rewrite things a little and include a section about that, linking to our roadmap and such.

Thanks for the input, guys. Continued feedback welcome.

That reads well Inc.

May I suggest making the introduction the first item under "about vendetta" section in the left hand panel of the site cover page for a bit more emphasis.

Hmm, good idea. Although it is already the first item on that panel if you aren't logged in.

This requires a bit more hunting through Waylon and Andy's javascript code. I'll take a look at this when I'm a little less tired.

For me everything is good up until the "On the Downside" part. While I think it's noble to be so honest and transparent, I don't know if the pay-off is there. Personally I wonder what the ratio is of:

1. People who leave the game after trying it and realizing these points on their own, without consulting the loyal user-base as to why these deficiencies exist...

to

2. People who won't even bother because of that section.

Like I said, I dunno... I guess I'm just not used to companies being so honest about their shortcomings. Perhaps if it was re-worded? "On the Downside" sounds so much like "flaws", whereas they're not really. For instance, the point about the graphics is for the most part spin on how come the dated graphics are actually a good thing. So why wrap said points in a negative cloak to begin with?

Anyone willing to read on to the end will hopefully give the game a shot.

I agree, but I think the "downsides' will stop some people dead in their tracks.

/edit

Everything is also good for me after the "On the Downside" part :)

I tend to agree with Snax about the "on the downside" part, although its honesty says a lot about Guild software, it can make some potential players not even bother to try the game, the stuff about the new version should stay, maybe at some other place (or even in the "on the Upside" part.) Furthermore, the "We do not have a giant support staff waiting to take your call" can easily scare players thinking they won't be able to solve problems, i think you should focus in the great community support, turning a "bad point" into a "good one".
just my thoughts.

Maybe consider instead of upsides and downsides, advantages and disadvantages. And also rewording the disadvantages.

Instead of "We do not have a bevy of artists" consider "We currently lack a large base of artists and because of this the graphics may look dated but... etc."

Instead of "No giant support staff" consider "We have limited support systems, which are well equipped (or adequate) for any technical issues, game bugs, and billing, which all happens quickly, but inadequate for questions about ingame problems. However the Helpful community forums are almost guarenteed to provide an answer. Or alternatively you could ask ingame... etc."

Instead of "There are only four of us with limited resources" consider "Because of our small development staff, major gameplay features take longer to develop but will provides many innovative features such as... etc."

Sooo, basically you want the intro to sound meek, apologetic and deceitful instead of what it is now? Good work newbs!

Edit: Forgot "unnecessarily wordy and blatantly marketing speak" or something to that effect.

Apologetic is not what I was suggesting at all. Quite the opposite actually. Not apologizing for the shortcomings of the game and instead focusing on why they are actually strengths... was what I was proposing.

Thanks, good points, I'll probably do another edit tonight when I get a chance. I had mixed feelings about the whole "pros/cons" thing. I do prefer to be.. bluntly honest, and let the chips fall, so to speak. But it might be better to just focus on our strengths for the moment.

Incarnate, I like the brutal honesty aspect, and in fact, that is my major reason for continuing to support this game. I love the fact that I can just say "Hey Inc et al" and get a "yea?" Speaking straight to the developers. If there's a serious bug, it gets fixed dang near immediately upon tracking it down, which, as best I can tell, receives highest priority.

Case in point, back when wow broke audio for addons, on the mac client, it was nearly a month before they released a fix for it. The mac community locked down the cause within a few hours of the patch release, and they said "Yes, we know, but it's not a major concern, since the game works stock, we'll fix it at the next client update in a month or so"

WTF?

So.. good job here y'all.

Just talk about the Pros, Inc.

There's an implied "con" just by talking about there only being 4 developers. I think you should leave it at that. There's no need to elaborate on how limited you truly are since, gosh, there's only 4 developers, and oh, by the way, did we mention our artwork is circa-2004 since we're only 4 developers? Furthermore we can't always answer your call because there's only 4 of us. Sorry. It's just the 4 of us. (That's pretty depressing and destroys any tone you have in the introduction.)

FAR more interesting would be bios of the developers. One paragraph. Turn the "Only 4 Developers?" into something like "OMG I never knew Michael was raised by feral cats!"

Might need to use ® and ™ in a few places if you're going to mention your competitors.

Break up the gigantic long-scrolling document into a few manageable chunks. Make it 3 pages:
1. What is Vendetta-Online?
2. What makes Vendetta Online different? (Who is Vendetta-Online?)
3. What is Vendetta Online's gameplay like?

I think you should make specific mention of your cross-platform development, specifically mention the linux and Mac platforms prominently - that's a HUGE difference between this game and others.

Oh, and you need graphics that describe what you are trying to say. For the "directly pilot and fly your own ship" you should show a "new" HUD with some action going on in the foreground. Use "tux", the Apple Logo and the Windows Logo (whichever ones you are licensed to be able to use on the box) when you talk about the multiplatform aspect.

Show a picture of the box if you like. At the end of this, you need to prod the reader to the next step: DOWNLOAD THE GAME. So at the end of page 3, put the download link. If they've read that far, chances are high that they will download it.

I'm not convinced the "pro/cons" is a bad idea. It breaks away from the normal MMO mold of seizing every opportunity at marketing and hyping your own game, and instills a lasting sense of trust in Guild Software. I imagine this sensation will be even stronger in some (and hopefully many) new players.

We see it from the point of enduring fans of the game, and perhaps we sometimes dislike being reminded of the few things holding VO back from world domination (we'll overtake WoW any day now...), but new players might very well both gain a sense of trust in Guild, and have their interest piqued by BOTH the pros and the cons.

I myself, in spite of not only having been aware of VOs indie status and pros and cons for a long time but also having had the pleasure of marketing those aspects to others, find my interest in the renewed when I am reminded that all this has been built by only four people. The cons section does a lot to strengthen that impression.

I guess the core of my suggsestion before is, if you want to sound formal, take advantage of every situation, and still sound trustworthy, try and take out the negatives like "not" in the disadvantages section.

It's like saying "We don't have apple pies today, sorry" compared to "We are currently out of apple pies, but have you tried the Cherry?" It's a subtle difference but it's there.